Going Medieval


There’s childhood and youth and young adulthood. And then comes middle age. I’ve been wondering when my Middle Ages are going to begin. I’ve left the Iron Age of my youth, for sure, and I have a feeling that my Roman Imperial times are drawing to an end. So, the other day, I found the answer. Three weeks from now, I will be closer to 50 than to 20. That must be my AD 409. That’s when the last remaining Imperial officials in the province of Britannia start packing their gear and no longer answer plainly when you ask them how old they are. “Thirty-something” is all they reply.

I’m going Medieval and feeling pretty good about it. The Middle Ages are a long and colourful period with many riddles that can only be answered by living through the era. And then? The Renaissance!

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  1. #1 Diane Rios
    March 15, 2007

    At 40, I’m entering my Crusades. Your blog is great! I am not as funny as you, but check out my blog too at dianeriosblog.blogspot.com

  2. #2 Martin R
    March 15, 2007

    Thank you, warms my heart!

  3. #3 Mustafa Mond, FCD
    March 15, 2007

    I am closer to 50 than to 40 now, and am leaving the Renaissance for the Age of Enlightenment. Keep at it, whippersnapper.

  4. #4 Lars L
    March 15, 2007

    Well, what about the Migration Period? Take a trip. And the Merovingian ditto? Growing long hair, shaving off the sideburns? Ever thought about that?

    L Scary close to 50.

  5. #5 Mustafa Mond, FCD
    March 15, 2007

    Maybe you could take a break and pillage Ireland.

  6. #6 Martin R
    March 15, 2007

    Haha, I’ll do my best to close the gap.

  7. #7 Martin R
    March 15, 2007

    I’m definitely looking forward to the Merovingian Period. The animal art is great, and about then I guess I’ll be old enough to stand a chance at getting a university job.

  8. #8 Ted
    March 15, 2007

    Just watch out for the Black Death — whatever it might be. For me it’s the fact my wife turns 40 in two weeks and wants another baby. Come to think of it, our discussions on the topic do seem to resemble the Hundred Years war.

  9. #9 RedMolly
    March 15, 2007

    Well, y’know, enjoy the pillaging while it lasts. At least the Church won’t come bothering you in your snug Northern hideaway ’til long after it’s finished with the rest of Europe.

  10. #10 John McKay
    March 15, 2007

    Having recently crossed over to the less popular side of fifty, I like the idea that that makes me a Renaissance man as long as it doesn’t include various Borgias trying to do me in. Sadly, I’m rather stuck in my ways, so I fear there will be no Reformation for me.

  11. #11 Lars L
    March 15, 2007

    Can´t get it out of my mind: If life gets worse over the years one would expect that life would end up in the Stone Age. Martin, imagine wading in heaps of chipped pieces of quartz. Good God, what a scary thought…

  12. #12 Martin R
    March 15, 2007

    Ted, sounds like a thorny problem. But my feeling is she won’t be a very fun wife if you refuse to knock her up, while both a contented wife and a baby are sources of a lot of joy. Go for it. And while you’re at it, do a few neighbours’ wives as well!

    Molly, no church for me! They won’t even want to bury me as I don’t pay their membership fee.

    John, maybe you could go to Japan and be a samurai when you reach the 17th century.

    Lars, no sweat, in the Stone Age nobody had to sieve, collect and weigh quartz chips.

  13. #13 Pierre
    March 15, 2007

    Reaching the inquisition would be a tough time for you, though… Before that you must promisse me an interview, as a medieval archaeologist I would naturally have loads of questions.

  14. #14 Martin R
    March 16, 2007

    Pierre, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

  15. #15 Tor
    March 16, 2007

    According to novelist and columnist P. C. Jersild, the Ages of Man are

    Childhood: 0–20
    Growing Up: 20–40
    Adulthood: 40–60
    The End: 60+

    So it looks as if, in just a century or two, we’re both gonna be grownups! Who would have thought it?

  16. #16 Prup aka Jim Benton
    March 16, 2007

    Kids, nothing but kids! (What’s the matter with…)
    I hit sixty last June (and it hit back harder). Does that mean I’ve finally reached the Enlightenment?

  17. #17 Martin R
    March 17, 2007

    Nooo, you’re still a Renaissance man. Just don’t start attending any fairs.

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