From today’s issue of free subway paper Metro, I translate:
… Martin Rundkvist, 35, the archaeologist who has found a unique 16th century sword in the woods.
How did you make the find — through cutting-edge methods?
— I sat down in the lotus position and took in the vibrations with my astral antennae.
— You’ve got to have long hair to take in the vibes. All hair dressers are paid by the government to cut off the astral antennae. They’ve got a hidden agenda, them hair dressers.
Really? So, how many lives do you think the sword has taken?
— Well, it really depends on what level you’re on and how many bonuses you’ve collected. We’ll see, maybe the guy who had it before has carved a notch in it for every victim.
Are you going to use it for private purposes?
— Yes. I see it as a tool for self-defence. I’m going to use it to practice Oriental combat techniques. I have a very exciting job.
Let’s see who can name the movie I’m quoting!