Back in October when myself & the family were in Beijing, we spent a Friday at the city’s main amusement park. The place was almost deserted, so the kids didn’t have to stand in line at all. They would repeatedly ride these huge attractions all on their own.
Beijing amusement park has an old 80s part full of run-down Japanese gear, all flaking paint and rusty welding work. Then there’s the northern periphery where they’ve installed new bigger attractions, each with a long explanatory sign in Engrish. One is a two-story carousel intended to create the impression of visiting a European castle. For some reason, this is achieved by plastering the place with pictures of the Baron Münchhausen.
The weirdest ride is named, and I kid you not, Magic Holy Bird Frisbee. It’s inspired by Mayan civilisation in a grotesquely plastic way, but also for some reason features colossal statues of lizard people, a female one of whom is being mean to a busty bikinied hominid.
Try saying the ride’s name out loud. Magic. Holy. Bird. Frisbee. That is just pure poetry!