Dear potential academic employers,
I know you are all secretely competing for who will have the pleasure of giving me a forskarassistent assistant professor’s position, to see me fire the imaginations of a new generation of students, to see me produce awesome research in great quantities and present a charming face for your department toward the media and the public.
I know you’ve just been joking with me for the past four years, receiving my job applications and saying, with a merry twinkle in your little eyes, “Oh no, the loveable little rascal may have 115 published pieces of work and the world’s biggest archaeology blog, but let’s make him wait just a few months more!”.
Haha! I’ve got you all sussed out, you pranksters!
But let me just amicably point one thing out to make things easier for you guys. Today’s date marks seven months before my PhD diploma turns five years old. On 27th September I move out of the post-doctoral five-year window within which I may apply for forskarassistent positions. After that date, you will have to employ me as an associate professor. I know you all want to do that, but it will be a little harder for you to explain why you’re giving that kind of job to me instead of to one of the fifteen highly qualified 45-year-olds who are also lining up for it.
I look forward to hearing from you when this humorous little game of yours comes to an end. Preferably before September.
Yours very truly,
Martin Rundkvist, PhD