Posted by Martin R on March 1, 2011 
Jack Chick is an insane Christian cartoonist. Howard Phillips Lovecraft was an atheist horror writer who wrote about people being driven insane. In Fred Van Lente and Steve Ellis’s brilliant 2000 tract, Chick and Lovecraft are made one.
Thanks to Kalle Bäcklander for the tip-off.
Ai, Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Cthulhu fhtagn. Cthulhu fhtagn.
Great stuff, perfectly spoofs Jack Chick’s most annoying habit: showing believers as being able to convert non-believers by a simple, authoritative statement of their beliefs as facts. I suspect these tracks are really more about re-affirming Evangelicals in their beliefs than actually evangelizing anybody.
They’re also getting successively harder to parodize – one of Chick’s most recent attacks targeted vampires, and there is not the slightest sign he wasn’t serious about that. The way his sanity and coherence are declining, he might yet turn out to be a prophet of a deity, after all – Azathoth, most likely.
I thought the classic was “WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST?” which Chick sued off the web. You might still be able to find it, though—perhaps in an ancient, eldritch Internet cafe housing tomes of forbidden code forgotten to men.
This is why we need to implement SCORPION STARE apps to our closed-circuit TV cameras…(read Charles Stross for an explanation 
Conceptually related spoofs
“NASA Completes 52-Year Mission To Find, Kill God” http://www.theonion.com/articles/nasa-completes-52year-mission-to-find-kill-god,19263/?utm_source=recentnews
“Marauding Gay Hordes Drag Thousands Of Helpless Citizens From Marriages After Obama Drops Defense Of Marriage Act” http://www.theonion.com/articles/marauding-gay-hordes-drag-thousands-of-helpless-ci,19325/
(for the fundies, the last one os probably the scariest)
If you want mind-numbing horrors galore, I would recommend the urban gothic Cal Leandros book series by Rob Thurman. The baddies are not quite Elder Gods but they are getting there. The urban landscape turns out to be worse than any Transylvanian hills.
For ultra-noir crime fiction with a slightly occult edge, try John Connolly’s Charlie Parker series.
And Dean Koontz’ “Odd Thomas” books are not bad.
Templesmith’s “Fell”, a graphic novel about a police detective has no supernatural horrors per se, but the big city itself could qualify as an evil god. The book is oozing with dread enhanched by the illustrations.
Sued off the internet? There is one copy of “Who will be eaten first?” at http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=135 and another at http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/who-will-be-eaten-first/
(The rest of Eric Raymond’s blog is interesting in a strange way).
”[We] believe in no afterlife, no God. We see the universe as it is, Father Damien, and these naked truths are cruel ones. We who believe in life, and treasure it, will die. Afterward there will be nothing, eternal emptiness, blackness, nonexistence. In our living there has been no purpose, no poetry, no meaning. Nor do our deaths possess these qualities. When we are gone, the universe will not long remember us, and shortly it will be as if we had never lived at all. Our worlds and our universe will not long outlive us. Ultimately entropy will consume all, and our puny efforts cannot stay that awful end. It will be gone. It has never been. It has never mattered. The universe itself is doomed, transitory, and certainly it is uncaring.”
—George R.R. Martin, ”The Way of Cross and Dragon”
Reality TV shows are a special horror…“Reality TV show seeks Swedish-Americans” http://www.thelocal.se/32312/20110228/
I assume the participants will be doing typical Swedish things like Moat Swimming competitions (in waters infested with the notorious Serrasalmus Borealis) and Drink Yourself Silly championships (originally a Finn speciality).
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Greg Laden has a skeptical search engine in the making. Maybe you could add info about pseudoarchaeology?
http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2011/03/the_skeptical_search_engine.php
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“It will be gone. It has never been. It has never mattered. The universe itself is doomed, transitory, and certainly it is uncaring.”
But Iain Banks’ Culture would simply upload their personalities, and kick-start another Universe using some suitable singularity to escape at right angles to everywhere else…
March 1, 2011
March 1, 2011
March 1, 2011
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March 2, 2011
