February Pieces Of My Mind

Some Facebook updates.

  • Bolsängen: an Uppland smallhold whose name (thanks to the Swedish method of making compund nouns) means “the sexual intercourse bed”.

  • The Poupon mustard brand got its name from the firm’s coprophiliac founder, who liked to encourage his staff with a friendly “Poop on, guys! Poop on!”
  • I’m helping Adele Adkins with some revision of her lyrics. Her scansion is OK but the rhymes need some touching up. Here’s a sample of what I’m coming up with.
    Don’t forget me I beg
    I remember, you smeg
    Sometimes it lasts in love
    But sometimes it hurts my leg

  • Three great Swedish words: yrvaken (confused because recently awoken), nödrim (bad rhyme used out of desperation), lönnfet (stealthily chubby).
  • “Juniorprofessur für Sexualpädagogik mit Schwerpunkt Gewaltprävention.” They should hire a bonobo.
  • My ex told a story about when Junior was in kiddy school and fully literate at a time when most of his classmates were still learning individual letters. After some nagging his teacher finally gave him something semi-meningful to occupy his time: an anthology of excerpts from children’s books. Five days later he had finished the book. “Did you really read the whole book already!?” “No, I skipped some bits…” “Come on now, read the whole book.” “But I’ve aready read the books those bits came from!”
  • I thought the proposed Icelandic net porn ban was just because they’d outgrown their cable’s bandwidth.
  • Laser tag at Cybertown was fun except for what happened during the interval after you get hit, when your gun quits working. A loud male voice from your armour would loudly repeat “DON’T GIVE UP DON’T GIVE UP DON’T GIVE UP DON’T GIVE UP”. It sounded like “DON KEBAB DON KEBAB DON KEBAB DON KEBAB DON KEBAB”.
  • Many human pursuits are largely ruled by chance. Think of the stock market; of pitched battles; of the political fortunes of Renaissance princes. These are fields where you either sink or swim. And we tend to see the individuals who don’t sink as special people, geniuses even. The ones who sink we don’t remember. Even though the thing that decides is largely luck. The chance of winning is small, but *someone* always wins. That person rarely has anything worthwhile to teach beyond “Be lucky”. And so I find it illuminating and a little comforting to meditate on the great successes of the world and think ”You lucky, lucky mediocre bastard”.
  • My wife and I form a feedback loop. She has cream buns and puts on a little weight. The resulting curves amp up my libido, leading to increased calory-burning marital activity, which diminishes the curves. Then the cycle repeats.
  • I believe the next pope will take one of these names: Anaclete II, Hormisdas II or Gelasius III. You heard it here first.

Comments

  1. #1 Birger Johansson
    March 14, 2013

    ”You lucky, lucky mediocre bastard”
    -Makes me think of the bloke from Argentina, who just got elected pope as a compromise because the other candidates were worse.
    -Now it turns out he collaborated with the military dictatorship in Argentine during the “dirty war”.
    He was not just a passive onlooker, he actually told the junta it was OK to arrest two monks that were working in a low-income area.
    The monks were arrested and were never seen again.
    While his official papal name is “Franciskus I” I would pronounce it “Fecalfink I”

  2. #2 Martin R
    March 14, 2013

    They really have a problem. In order to rise through the ranks, all Catholic careerists have had to turn a loyally blind eye to all sorts of nastiness in the organisation. Which means that if they want a guy with clean hands, they either have to take someone who’s 20 or someone who got thrown out 40 years ago for insubordination.

  3. #3 Mu
    March 14, 2013

    I guess Birger needs to edit wikipedia, they wrongly claim the priests came free 5 months later. Probably were exchanged against clones…
    Or maybe Birger is really pronounced Bigdick

  4. #4 Martin R
    March 14, 2013

    Sw. Birger Jarl = Burger King

  5. #5 Birger Johansson
    March 14, 2013

    Mu, I confused those two monks with others.
    Several monks, nuns and priests of the RCC were “disappeared” during the dirty war because they sided with ordinary people against the dictatorship, and the RCC hierarchy withdrew their protection. The most notorius case regards Italian nationals that were arrested and mudered by the same officer (Alfredo Astiz) who also arrested and murdered the Swedish national Dagmar Hagelin.
    Most of the readers here were probably not born during the “dirty war” but it singled out Argentina as the worst offender in Latin America, worse than Chile.
    During the whole period the RCC happily cooperated with the government.
    I find it hard to believe the survival of these two monks were due to strong interventions by the church.
    .
    And, yes, since “bigdick” is close to “birjer”, why not? Like that Roman centurion…
    “DON KEBAB” -In Japanese “All Your Kebabs Are Belong To Us”

  6. #6 Birger Johansson
    March 15, 2013

    This is where “smeg” comes from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smeg_(vulgarism)#Smeg
    Speaking of SF lyrics, here is another one:
    “I teleported out one day
    with John and Sid and Meg
    John stole Meggie’s heart away
    and I got Sidney’s leg” (don’t teleport. Ever)

  7. #7 Martin R
    March 15, 2013

    I watched the remake of The Fly with Jeff Goldblum in the Igelboda school auditorium back in the 80s when the Lions’ Club ran a cinema there. Grossed me out.

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