Humour
Category archives for Humour
A Modest Proposal to Eradicate Square Dance
Posted by Martin R on April 10, 2010 In many of the world’s most affluent countries, the population is shrinking because people aren’t having enough children to replace the folks who die. This offers some hope to solve global overpopulation, though unfortunately the solution involves eradicating poverty and establishing global ecological sustainability, which ain’t exactly easy. These shrinking populations become demographically top-heavy, with…
A Strong Smell of Turpentine Prevails Throughout
Posted by Martin R on March 31, 2010 When I was in school I read a great story about a man who took opium, felt that he had a great philosophical insight, wrote it down, and then found, after sobering up, that what he had written was “I perceive a distinct smell of kerosene”, Jag känner en distinkt doft av fotogen. Mucking around…
Mess With This Rabbit Only After Careful Consideration
Posted by Martin R on March 27, 2010 The Gangs of Åstorp
Posted by Martin R on March 15, 2010 Sunday “… five men were indicted, some of them members of the Black Cobra criminal gang. They are suspected of involvement in cake theft from the Godbiten bakery in Åstorp [pop. 8500] earlier this week. The cake was stolen from a truck on an industrial estate. 120 boxes containing among other things mazarines, brownies and…
Hernia Brand Glue
Posted by Martin R on March 14, 2010 Scandinavians generally speak pretty good English. But every now and then you come across reminders that they are still very far from being native speakers. Witness this pail of wall-paper glue that I bought earlier today. Dear Swedish glue-maker, “hernia” means brock and is defined as “the protrusion of an organ or the fascia of…
French Soft Drink Promises to Change Your Sexual Orientation
Posted by Martin R on March 9, 2010 Christian fundamentalists like to believe that homosexuality is an illness that can — and should — be cured. The factual belief is contradicted by a solid scientific consensus, and the value judgement is widely considered to be a repressive holdover from the Bronze Age. The makers of the French orange-based soft drink Orangina seem to…
The Web helps you check if your ideas are original. Recently I’ve come up with two puns that proved to be unoriginal but still surprisingly uncommon. Ronald McDonald is the Lord of the Fries. The famous fantasy role-playing game should always be referred to as Dung & Drag. It amazes me that I haven’t thought…
Swedes Do, Normal People Don’t
Posted by Martin R on January 19, 2010 Writes Dear Reader Bruce Paulson of Gillett, Wisconsin: Your article the other day about rutabagas whet my appetite so on Friday I went to the local grocery store with a friend who was staying for supper. I unloaded three of them at the checkout counter where a teenage clerk started to examine them for an…
Norm Sherman is an Elder God
Posted by Martin R on December 17, 2009 I’ve listened to Escape Pod, the science fiction short-story podcast, for four years now. And lately I have become increasingly awed by one of the newer hosts, Norm Sherman. His writing is acerbic, his delivery is deadpan, the guy is just so cool and funny. On the most recent EP episode he played an absolutely…
Like an Elephant
Posted by Martin R on November 18, 2009 My 6-y-o daughter usually sleeps really solidly over in her room and is not easily woken by sounds she’s accustomed to. But this morning she told me over breakfast, “Dad, you and Mom made the weirdest noises last night and woke me. First Mom kind of whined and sounded as if she was gonna sneeze.…
