Hug Jesus, or get diseases

Posted by Tara C. Smith on September 6, 2006
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I swear, it’s so hard to tell sometimes what’s sincere and what’s parody. There’s some really good stuff, like the classic Landover Baptist or WinAce’s organisms that look designed. There’s the sincere-but-looks-like-a-parody, like Dr. Dino or Answers in Genesis. Then there’s stuff that just makes me scratch my head, like this page:

Do you feel like you should be offering more love to Jesus? What about giving him a big hug? Well, you can’t do that of course, but WE can!

My Hug for Jesus is offering you a Jesus hugging service. It’s new, it’s fun, and it’s the opportunity to express all the love you have for the christ!

You may still be asking yourself «Why should I offer a hug to Jesus?».
Jesus needs to feel that you love him a lot, otherwise, he might make you feel unhappy and give you diseases. Don’t miss your chance to tell Jesus «Hey, I love you a lot!» by offering him a big hug. You will feel secure, happy, and Jesus will reward you.

To order your hug, you have to make a donation of 2$CAD or more using the paypal button below. As a bonus, we will send you a free «I gave a hug to Jesus» certificate with your name on it. The certificate will be sent by email.

In order to maintain some faith in humanity, I’m going to assume this isn’t real. Don’t rob me of my illusions.

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Comments

  1. #1 J-Dog
    September 6, 2006

    Gee, what to do? Help the poor Nairobi prince, or prevent a horrible disease and send money to the Hug For Jesus guy? I got to ask myself, What Would Flinders Do?

  2. #2 Richard
    September 6, 2006

    What is it with these so called “science” blogs?

    They are devolving into attack believers “hate sites”.

    What you are preaching is your own gospel of “Scientism”, as if science will solve all our problems.

    Hell, it may end up providing the basis to destroy civilization.

    Your philosophical blindess is nauseating.

  3. #3 makita
    September 6, 2006

    Sorry, consider yourself robbed of your illusions. Obviously, this is simply a money-making scam. Can you believe these people??

  4. #4 Vitis
    September 6, 2006

    Well done Richard. I almost thought you were serious for a second. Haha, good one. Everytime I think about equating someones skepticism at buying a hug for $2CAN with “philosophical blindness” I start giggling uncontrollably.

    Thanks!

  5. #5 Badger3k
    September 6, 2006

    This isn’t the Nigeria-type scam, this is more Mafia-style (or televangelist-style) – send money or my all-powerful friend will hurt you. The really sad part is that some people will be philosophically blind and actually send money.

  6. #6 ThePolynomial
    September 6, 2006

    It’s hard to find a parody as glorious: http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/

  7. #7 spondee
    September 7, 2006

    I especially get a kick out of the strategic placement of the switch opening on the lightswitch cover… http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin.29369752

  8. #8 JohnnieCanuck
    September 8, 2006

    Looks like myhugforjesus.blogspot.com has folded its tent and stolen away. Or been banned or something. It’s now a 404.

    ThePolynomial:
    Thanks for some glorious humour indeed. I think. Sad, so sad.

    Herbivorous T. Rex.
    Kangaroos in the middle east and how they and all other marsupials made it to Australia
    Successful dinosaur hunts in Africa
    Neanderthals were humans with abnormal bone growth…
    “Jesus wants us to be hot for Him” (quotemined for humour)

    Q: “What should you do if you find an Atheist?”

    A: “If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
    TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

    You may be moved to try and witness to
    these poor lost souls yourself, however
    AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

    Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God’s Word.

    Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.”

    The atheist is illustrated as a grumpy goat. Shows how little biology these creation scientists know. We’re obviously curmudgeonly cephalopods.

  9. #9 Phobos
    September 8, 2006

    Richard – Do you have any examples of sciencebloggers “preaching the gospel” of Scientism, or is this just a delusion of yours? What you are probably seeing is a preference for skeptical thinking over blind faith and a reaction to the attacks on science by “believers”. I haven’t seen anyone here say that science will solve all your problems. “Believers” are the ones that claim to have all the answers.

  10. #10 Virgin4UJesus
    September 10, 2006

    I was starting to feel a little sick, so I bought 2.