Afarensis is a 3.5-2.8 million year old hominin from the Kada Hadar member of the Hadar formation in the Middle Awash, Ethiopia. He is approximately 41 inches tall, weighs approximately 60 pounds and has a cranial capacity of a whopping 410 cc (approximately). Afarensis is currently considered to be transitional between apes and humans and displays some traits of both. Since he spends a lot of time on the couch watching monster movies, some observers question whether he is an obligate biped (although no one has observed him climbing a tree). He also has a blog called 
Long time readers may be aware of the fact that I am the world's foremost authority on Pre-cambrian archaeology. Before relating news of this year's research, however, I would like to resond to one of my critics, who, after accusing me of quotemining threatened to sick one of his evil darwinian evilutionist lawyers on me. Well, Mr. Smarty Pants squid worshiper this entry on Conservapedia clearly states that quotemining is the most advanced form of scientific research possible. So there you have it from one of the world's most reputable science sources. Onwards to my research results.
You may recall that last I had mentioned that I would be working on the effects of fire breathing t-rex's on the rate of accumulation of dust on the moon and how that affects the strength of earths magnetism. I fully expected to win the Nobel Prize for untangling this , but gave up because the math was too hard (who needs numbers anyway). You may recall that a fundamental component of my theory is the idea that a mitochondria tried to form an unatural attachment to a bacteria (totally against God's will) which caused an explosion and led to the extinction of neanderthals (and in a new development, I have learned that the Cambrian explosion turned the fraudulent Nebraska Man into a peccary)? I have identified one of the fundamental remnants of this explosion. This discovery took several months of experimenting (I had to eat three tons of peanut butter to make this discovery), but now I can finally say that peanut butter is in point of fact a left over trace of the Cambrian explosion (it's kind of like the cosmic background microwave radiation thingy being a leftover of the Big Bang). If you don't believe this then how do you explain the salmonella contaminated peanut butter mentioned here? Clearly, peanut butter still retains a latent generative property that is the footprint of God's Wrath at the unnatural promiscuity of the mitochondria trying to attach itself to the bacteria.
I will continue my paradigm busting research and report back next April on my results...
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