Afarensis is a 3.5-2.8 million year old hominin from the Kada Hadar member of the Hadar formation in the Middle Awash, Ethiopia. He is approximately 41 inches tall, weighs approximately 60 pounds and has a cranial capacity of a whopping 410 cc (approximately). Afarensis is currently considered to be transitional between apes and humans and displays some traits of both. Since he spends a lot of time on the couch watching monster movies, some observers question whether he is an obligate biped (although no one has observed him climbing a tree). He also has a blog called 
I don't have all the details yet, but I can outline the solution.
It has to do with Area 51, the grassy knoll, who really brought down the World Trade Center, the alleged landing on the moon, and Bigfoot. It is also possible that Elvis (who is not dead yet) is the babies father. I don't have all the details worked out yet but high placed sources (read Freemasons) will provide me with the final answers as soon as I unravel the Da Vinci Code they will tell me everything. Now, you may be laughing at this, but it is no nuttier than some of the theories being kicked about on ScienceBlogs and Daily Kos.
I have picked out a theme song for those of you who do not believe Sarah Palin was the real mother (if you listen to it backwards all the details of the plot will be revealed - including whether Paul is really dead):
I have also picked out an official uniform:
Comments
At last! An explanation that makes sense!
Posted by: Zeno | September 1, 2008 4:44 PM
Really, now! I've seen much better material on Miss Chaos's spot on MySpace.com -- and her mascot is an 8-legged cat, not just a meow with a foil hat! That proves something! (I'm not sure what, but a clever person like you is bound to come up with a good...conspiracy theory).
Posted by: DianaGainer | September 1, 2008 5:00 PM
Zeno,
Conspiracy mavens don't want a theory that makes sense, they want a theory that makes cents.
Posted by: Alan Kellogg | September 1, 2008 10:09 PM
You or one of the other ScienceBloggers should comment on Sarah Palin's family's r-strategy. (5 kids and one of them is a teen mother).
I wrote something about it (seems to be the first?), but I think you guys could do it better.
Posted by: Ruth Sponsler | September 3, 2008 1:10 PM
Ruth, dearie, I read your item & no need for anyone else to add to it. You said it all. Just might comment, though, that once those large families exist, there's little point in talking about them being too large. We can't put them babies back in, ya know! I say this as one of six kiddoes from parents who -- believe it or not -- actually tried to use birth control. But then, that was before The Pill was legally available. So we mustn't get too high on our horses til we know the whole story. Diaphragms are widely advertised as over 98% effective. I'm living proof it's somewhat less than that.
Posted by: DianaGainer | September 3, 2008 5:56 PM
That depends how often they were showing their love for one another...
how many times would they have to do it, at a 98% rate, to have 6 kids?
let's see, 50x6=300 times.
over how many years?
sounds about right to this horny young male.
Posted by: wazza | September 5, 2008 6:03 AM
Dear wazza, my theory is, the things have holes! Or the spermies swim past -- or lie in wait til it comes out. There may be a whole file folder of microscopic, devious strategies for getting around them things. There were 9 pregnancies despite the barrier -- that's the point. It clearly takes more than a barrier!
But speaking of Ms. Palin, did you catch Ms. Ace Senior Reporter for Women's Issues on Jon Stewart's "Daily Show" on the Palin Vice-Presidency, Samantha Bee? She was delightful (as usual). She says she used to be for Hillary (one "l" or 2?), but is now for Palin. When Stewart pointed out that would mean switching parties, Bee answers, she is not a Democrat or Republic, she votes with the Vagina Party. Stewart nearly turns purple -- but that's the point. It's as if the Repubs thinks that's the way we women think. What, HO, she's got one, I've got one, I simply must vote for her! So sorry. I'm not falling for that. I'm just the eensy-weensiest bit more sophisticated, even tho' I am from Texas.
Posted by: DianaGainer | September 6, 2008 12:34 PM
its somewhat unfolding. What a conspiracy!
Did Mccain do enough research on Palin
Posted by: Acai | September 6, 2008 10:13 PM