Processed meat, indeed

Shah J, Majed A, Rosin D. Rectal salami. Int J Clin Pract. 2002 Sep;56(7):558-9.

You have no idea how hard I'm fighting the urge to make a 'hide the salami' joke right now.

More like this

Ok, is it wrong to be wondering the circumference of said salami?
Or to be grateful that he wasn't using Pepperoni, or similarly "hot" products?
Or that the old line about "Ben Gay is Not a Lubricant" is popping into my mind?

Or the one where the individual when ordering his salami at the butcher shop is asked "do you want it sliced?". Individual replies "what do you think I am, a slot machine?".