Angry Toxicologist

For the un-initiated, I believe Fridays are good for coffee (I only drink caffeine once a week), doughnuts, and random stuff, not science (does this get me kicked off Science Blogs?).

Meathead of the Week: Ken Ziman, partner at Simpson Thatcher. A piece in the NYTimes talks about how law firms are giving summer associates the ‘chance’ to have their summer lunch with a principle at a $15 or less place and the firm will give the rest of the food allowance ($45) to charity. The firms want to look socially responsible. First, this is just stupid, if they wanted to look responsible they would act responsible and give out some money that they weren’t going to spend anyway. The only losers here are fancy restaurants and summer associates’ stomachs, not the firm. Ken gives what may be the real reason behind it:

Lawyers like having [$15] lunch with a summer associate because it means a faster meal, not the typical, time-sapping 1.5 hours, Mr. Ziman said.

Pssst…Ken, you’re supposed to be faking a charitable stance. You’re not a good liar and consequently not a good lawyer.

Honorable Meatheads: Any of the people that spend > $5K on a mattress.

Your Water is Dead
Oh, yes, didn’t you know? unless you’re living at a high altitude drinking spring water, you’re water is dead. For the rest of us, we have: MICROWATER!
I got my Chi Machine from last week but I still just didn’t feel right and I think it was my dead water. Let’s learn more about the Microwater Electrolysis Alkaline/Acidic Water System…

After years of research by Japanese scientists, a method was found to impart back into water the missing ingredients which nature usually provides- proper alkaline pH and OH- or hydroxyl ions. This process is known as electrolysis. Whereas most water, be it bottled or coming through any type of filtering system, may be clean and free of chemicals and bacteria, it is in fact dead and lifeless. Ionized alkaline water has far different properties.

Intrigued? I sure am. I had no idea water could be dead and I wouldn’t know it!

When water comes out of your tap or normal filter, it tends to be grouped together in clusters of approximately 10-13 little H2O’s stuck together. When water is bouncing off the rocks in a high mountain stream, picking up electrons, it tends to group together in smaller clusters of about 5-6 H2O’s making it smaller water or “micro-clustered” water. Hence you have water that is one half the size, or “wetter” water.

I’m glad this is here to explain this. My water was huge in the shower today, really bulky, probably like 17 or 20 H2Os/cluster. It wasn’t very wet, I kept drying out. (Don’t those clusters sound so happy? Getting together in groups, bouncin’ off rocks…)

This water has been successfully used to treat high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, constipation and diarrhea, acidosis, and a wide variety of skin conditions. Although no medical claims are made, try drinking this water and see what happens.

You bet I will. I’m sold. If anyone is curious, they can continue to read the adjoining page “What is Water” where you will learn that “At 10 degrees centigrade, pure distilled water, is 96% to 97% pentagonally structured water. In this type of structured water, namely the distilled, fish and algae and plankton will die. Water is alive. Hexagonal structured water is healthier to drink.” Crikey, I can’t even find anything snarky to say about something so ridiculous.

The hubris of bloggers
There is an op-ed in the Baltimore Sun today that takes us bloggers down a notch. While some bloggers like to think they are influential, we’re still second string (if that). If you look at the numbers of people reached by online outlets, they’re relatively insignificant on a population basis (it seems big to us because we live in this strange close-knit world). While I don’t agree with the conclusion that the blizzard of online information makes a media transformation in a way that helps democracy impossible, I agree that it’s a huge challenge. The dust hasn’t even begun to kick up, much less settle on this issue and I hold out hope that the media will somehow work out a financial model that allows them to keep up good reporting and investigations while the blogosphere can continue to do it’s thing. So far they haven’t figured it out and of interest to us at science blogs, it’s usually the science/environment/health reporters that are getting shown the door first.

Weekly Aural Pleasure
This song’s in my head again so I’m putting it up for this week’s aural pleasure (even though you readers of my old site have already seen it). Fantastic song, amazingly entertaining video.

Yes, that’s Noel Fielding of Mighty Boosh (an acquired taste for some). Here he is with the hilarious Julian Barratt. Happy Friday.

Nominations for Meathead of the week and non-science fridays items including aural pleasure can be sent to tox@angrytoxicologist.com.

Comments

  1. #1 AJ
    July 20, 2007

    I love when he accidentally honks the horn. Brilliant.

    Ow! Chica Chica! It’s the vibratin’ palm.

  2. #2 Ezekiel Buchheit
    July 20, 2007

    Remember, a principal is your pal. And you should do everthing with principle, whether the lunch cost $15, $60, or you just hit up McDonalds.

    That being said, the micro water stuff seems awfully similar to another woo product called Penta Water. Penta claimed to have patented process that allowed them to reduce the size of the chemical bonds in water, thus making the water smaller. The cleanest water ever. Cure all sorts of horrible water caused pathogenic nightmares. Or something.

  3. #3 Lepht
    July 20, 2007

    pH and ions are ingredients now? what, can i sit in my kitchen with a batter bowl and a wooden spoon and rustle up some f#$%ing ion cookies? after i sprinkle my chips with pH?

    if anyone wants me, i’ll be smacking my head against this here monitor. must be a symptom of needing more ions.

    Lepht

  4. #4 llewelly
    July 20, 2007

    Microwater? Shades of the revigorator – but fortunately non-toxic.

  5. #5 minusRusty
    July 20, 2007

    Microwater — Funniest thing I’ve read all month.

    Thanks for that!

  6. #6 Marion Delgado
    July 21, 2007

    Lepht:

    One of the ads I had on my show (and as an ad in the zine that went with it), was for a “no-pH” shampoo. Other shampoos were advertising their “low pH” nature and even “LOWER pH” so I cut to the chase and introduced “pHree™” the “world’s first no pH shampoo – costs more, but the difference is worth it.” Why have ANY pH at all, like the cheap shampoos?

    * With “Nature’s aqua regia

    * The “tingling” means it’s working!

    * Gets the grey out

    * Equally safe on color-treated or permanented hair.

    So rest easy, you’re avenged.

    I do, however, like how the shampoo industry thinks hair will become brittle unless the water/shampoo combo is neutral or mildly acidic whereas the microwater folks believe it needs to be alkaline. Perhaps I should follow up pHree with pHreshaline:

    “Back in the 1960s, eating pine trees was groovy and they made us take the octanes out of gasoline – and the pH out of shampoo. With new pHreshaline®, the pHun is back! pHreshaline has all the pH of the shampoo great, great grandma used – and more! pHreshaline actually produces tingly natural detergent in contact with your scalp!”

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