The Shakespeare Insult meme takes a portable turn with the Shakespeare Insulter for iPhone.
This app is supposedly “official” (who says?) but strangely, it features an American voice, which issues from the nutcracker-jawed head of the Bard like that of a self-important postmodernist literary scholar who is unaware of his tendency toward melodrama. “Thou” becomes an interminable “Th-owwwwwwwww”, followed by any two random adjectives and noun. There’s nothing innovative about it, no way to customize it, and apparently no way to speed the darn thing up. Two bitten thumbs down! Get this app to a nunnery, and don’t try again until Patrick Stewart, Stephen Fry, or Ian McKellan has agreed to voice the insults.