GOP crowdsourced priority #1: dammit, Jim, dolphins are fish!

Apparently the Republicans learned nothing from Change.gov and the White House's problematic experiments with crowdsourcing, because they've now invited web-based public input to shape their 2010 party platform. According to Dana Milbank, so far, the suggestions include such gems as "A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story." Mmmmkay.

Unless the commenter uses a giveaway pseudonym, it's tough to tell if such comments are coming from trolls mocking right-wing extremism (who are reputedly swarming onto the site in droves from Reddit, digg, Kos, etc.) or from genuine right-wing extremists enraged by zoology. I'm sure the comment above is tongue-in-cheek. But given the state of the internet, science literacy, etc., I can't tell for sure whether the comment is trollish or authentic. And the fact that the GOP didn't anticipate this reaction, given the previous problems with crowdsourcing, is quite odd. Unless they did anticipate it, and they want to encourage trolling for some obscure purposes. . . conspiracy theorists, now you can have some fun too.

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Yes, and never mind the whiskers & flippers on seals, sea lions and walruses, not to mention those pesky penguin "birds" - fishes, all of them, I say! And Michael Phelps - need I say more?

I truly, deeply hope that was a troll comment and not a sincerely insane one. But as you pointed out, you just never know with these people.

"...such gems as "A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH"

I would like to think this was posted in jest but: before we were married I asked my wife-to-be (catholic family) why eating fish on friday was accepted because it was still meat. Her response was "Not sure - ask my mother". I did. Her answer was: "A fish isn't an animal."
I was nonplussed and pressed her - the response didn't change: "A fish is not an animal."
That weekend they had their priest over for dinner: apparently my future mother-in-law had asked him to explain the universe to me: he "explained" that a fish is not an animal, so its flesh did not qualify as meat.

Given that bit of foolishness observed first-hand, I will repeat: I hope that the "if it swims it is a fish..." bit was posted in jest, but I believe the chance is moderately high it was made in seriousness.

Neat. Now if we evil conservatives could troll those innocent angelic marxists in washington, we would all be better off. I think for a CHRISTmas (not holiday) gift I will send all you atheistic marxist overlords a fresh turd in the mail. It will match your brains and your face. I would like to be the first conservative in hir=story to place freshly laid turd in the desk drawer of a loudmouth leftist socialist college professor - with a kind message attached to it saying "This turd represents your efforts to change America into a satanic society. if you succeed, you will have to eat this turd becuase you made life shitty for everyone."

Marxist socialists and turds. Who would have known the two were so compatible in so many ways.

By NWO Fema camp … (not verified) on 26 May 2010 #permalink

that poses an interesting question. those of us who aren't republican/conservative are crippled by the reality reflected in poe's law: we can't tell if someone is just screwing around or serious.

are authentic republicans/conservatives similarly afflicted?

Alas JohnV, I do think everyone is similarly afflicted. The conservative friends I've talked with are just as baffled by Birthers as my liberal friends, and thus only slightly more able to tell a faux-Birther from a real Birther. I'd guess that holds true in general.

Weirdly, my impression is there are fewer faux-leftwing-extremists than faux-rightwing-extremists. That is, a left-wingnut commenter is more likely to really mean it than a right-wingnut commenter, who is often a troll posing as a right-wingnut. But I'm sure that impression is shaped by the sites I visit, and is not representative of the internet as a whole. I've largely given up trying to tell if commenters are trolls or not, honestly. I just assume anyone without a proven, searchable track record of blogging or commenting is as likely to be insincere as not. It's cynical and depressing, but what else can you do? :)

That weekend they had their priest over for dinner: apparently my future mother-in-law had asked him to explain the universe to me: he "explained" that a fish is not an animal, so its flesh did not qualify as meat.

Bonus hilarity: beavers (and presumably other aquatic mammals) are classified as fish too, on the basis that they live in water. So you can eat beaver meat on a Friday in Lent with a clear conscience, because it's not an animal, it's a fish.

I'm sure this all makes perfect sense to someone...

@dunc

about beavers, and i realize that my source isn't the best one out there, the actual reason for beaver eating being permitted is that in some parts of the recently colonized north america, attempts to convert the natives weren't going well. A factor in this was that abstaining from eating beavers (meat) during lent was driving them off. So the church made it permissible to eat beavers in order to keep the native converts happy. granted they may have stated something silly about calling them fish because of their aquatic nature...

source: manswers. which, if you're familiar with the show you might understand what they were getting at with a question about beaver eating during lent.

I refuse to believe the ninja cat thread is in jest. Ninja cats are DEADLY SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Heh, I didn't know Rome gave that special place to the beaver. They did the same to the capybera in South America. The beaver thing does lend itself to better jokes though.

By Robert S. (not verified) on 27 May 2010 #permalink

I was merely noting that the first three were left-wing ideas.

There is no simple left/right wing divide on the very serious issue of ninja cat training.