Not to be outdone by the good Doc, I have included a few quick flower porn snaps from the hot, lurid, sexually charged grounds surrounding my house. Well, to be honest, it’s just plain hot, as in approaching 90F with more humidity than a swimming pool.

First on our parade of porn is the common tiger lily, resplendent in its plumage, showing off for all to see. It begs “Pollinate me! Pollinate me! Oh, god yes, pollinate me!!” Such a naughty one. No Spring tulip this trollop be.

And now we move on to the less common but still exhibitionist balloon flower. Note the distended veins of desire! Truly, this is “blue” photography. Need I say more?

Lastly, what you’ve all been waiting for. We turn it up to 11 with interspecies sex! Hold onto your seats kids and make sure mom and dad ain’t looking. This is what the Internet is all about:

This cone flower is just a-buzz with wanton lust, taking on any and all who may fly by. Only experienced sexperts need apply, no bumblers, please!