Dr. Joan Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge

A recent analysis of the performance of our current president relative to that of someone many folks like to make fun of reveals a surprising conclusion.

Top Ten Reasons Paris Hilton Would’ve Made a Better President than G.W. Bush

10. Not beholden to the religious right.

9. Too distracted by self-promotion to actually follow Rove’s Machiavellian machinations.

8. Her idea of an unavoidable foreign entanglement is driving a convertible down the Autobahn without wearing a hat.

7. Wouldn’t have tried to out-do her father.

6. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer but at least she realizes it.

5. An international incident to her involves the Turkish and Somali ambassadors in a three-way.

4. “Inner Circle” wouldn’t have been any smarter but at least they’d take a nice photograph.

3. P.R. agent would’ve been far less irritating than Tony Snow.

2. Tabloid-reading populace would finally have a clue about US politics.

1. Would’ve bitch-slapped Cheney several times by now.


  1. #1 Saint Gasoline
    March 21, 2007

    “2. Tabloid-reading populace would finally have a clue about US politics.”

    Man, that’s so true that this post goes beyond funny into utterly terrifying.

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