Dr. Joan Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge

In the same spirit as OBJECTIVE: Ministries, I give you Telco Powered™ Products.

New Patented Technology allows you to use Power from the Phone Company to operate everyday items that you have to use -even if the power is out.

The product line is truly amazing. I’m torn: should I order the Telco Powered™ Fan Cooler (When the Air Conditioning is out, it gets HOT in the desert. Fill the bottle with cold water, and spray as needed!) or the Telco Powered™ Vibrator:

There’s a lot of stress when the power is out!

Use our soothing Vibrator to relax your muscles after dealing with this serious problem.

Use it as long as you need to… it’s powered by the phone company!

“Last time I was in LA, I had to walk down eight flights of stairs with two big bags to check out of the hotel that had been without power twice during my stay. The vibrator would have really helped my muscles after that stressful hotel stay!”

Late breaking news from the Telco Powered™ Innovations Group: Dr. Drizzlenick (Telco Power’s Chief Scientist from the renowned Chernobyl Electrical Institute in Russia) and Vitaliy Tolstonogov (Director General of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant) have developed alternate versions of all of the items you see on this web page, which run on common depleted uranium!

Comments

  1. #1 Bill from Dover
    October 16, 2007

    Think I’ll wait for the Telco-Powered chainsaw.

  2. #2 Warren
    October 16, 2007

    What I’d like to know is if there’s a Telco vibrator that is keyed to go off when the phone rings.

    It might bring calling trees back into vogue.

  3. #3 Doc Bushwell
    October 16, 2007

    It might bring calling trees back into vogue.

    Or even the party line.

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