Casaubon's Book

Life In The House Of Testosterone

Posted by Sharon Astyk on February 4, 2010
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As you all know, I live with five males, ranging from 39 to 4. As a woman raised in a mostly all-female household (mother, step-mother, two sisters), I try gamely to fit in, but find myself occasionally mystified by the guy-ness, or inadequately equipped for things like appreciating how cool it is to write in the snow with your penis. This was clearly one of those moments.

Me, (coming downstairs for a cup of tea before returning to my book) “What’s with the sledgehammer, honey?”

The boys: “Daddy is going to let us smash geodes! Awesome! We tried it with the hammer, but it didn’t work, so now we’ve got a sledgehammer – yay!”

Me: (thinking about my book): Cool.

Me, (doing a slight double take, noting that everyone is barefoot and not dressed for the outdoors): “Honey, WHERE were you planning to smash rocks with a sledgehammer?”

Eric: (Long hesitation and sheepish grin.) “Ummmm…Oh, outdoors. Definitely outside. Ummm…on the porch. Come on boys, let’s get some socks and shoes and jackets on and go outside.”

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Comments

  1. #1 DrugMonkey
    February 4, 2010

    umm. “other” males?

  2. #2 Sharon Astyk
    February 4, 2010

    Yes, weren’t you aware that males were extremely other to us betwatted folk?

    Sharon, off to fix her sentence

  3. #3 abbie
    February 4, 2010

    I initially read that as “we tried it with the hamster.” You can imagine the image in my head!

    Thanks for the tip, since our little boy should be arriving in a month.

  4. #4 aimee
    February 4, 2010

    HAHAHHAHAHHA now I’m going to totally your awesome word “betwatted.”

  5. #5 Kierra
    February 4, 2010

    What’s wrong with smashing geodes inside? If you wrap them in a towel first (which should be done anyway to prevent injury from flying rock) they don’t make a mess.

  6. #6 NM
    February 4, 2010

    Ahhh, men. Too funny. I especially love the long pause, followed by sheepish grin. Very familiar with that …

  7. #7 Claire
    February 4, 2010

    Some of us gals like smashing geodes too … geodes are cool!

  8. #8 Karen
    February 4, 2010

    Can totally relate. When I found out I was having a boy, I didn’t quite believe it because I too grew up in a house of girls. Testosterone levels got too high here so I adopted my daughter to dilute.
    Karen

  9. #9 Katherine
    February 4, 2010

    Yeah I would have been totally annoyed to not have been included in the smashing things <_<

    Definitely agree on not doing it inside though.

  10. #10 Bob Calder
    February 4, 2010

    Geodes are better when sawn. Much safer for little toes too.

  11. #11 Greenpa
    February 4, 2010

    Aha! it’s a Gender Tirade! :-)

    c’mon now, all you beahemed persons- you’re telling me ladies never get enthusiastic to the point of silliness!??

    I bite my Barbie at you!
    :-)

  12. #12 Zuska
    February 4, 2010

    Careful there, Greenpa! You don’t wanna be mansplainin’ Sharon’s post to us…

  13. #13 Jim Thomerson
    February 4, 2010

    On the other hand, a colleague married a lovely lady with two lovely daughters. He later commented to me, “I’m completely outnumbered at home. I don’t have a chance.”

  14. #14 Greenpa
    February 4, 2010

    Zuska – I wouldn’t THINK of such a thing! I’m just supporting our host in her own stated beliefs!

    “I admit, I’m always amused by the idea that talking about gender is inherently divisive – that we cannot talk specifically about differences in perspective or circumstance without inherently setting us in opposition. That seems like such an obvious logical error – ”
    :-)

  15. #15 Sharon Astyk
    February 5, 2010

    For the record, I like smashing geodes too. And I’ve got no problem with doing them with the hammer in the house. Swinging the sledgehammer in the house, though, that’s another matter for me.

    Sharon

  16. #16 Nostromo
    February 6, 2010

    Oldest of five brothers checking-in. Factoring-in my Father, my dear late-Mother would, I feel, agree heartily. I loved her, miss her so even now, admired her wit, bright and effusive spirit in the face of it all. Mother read to her children, not limited to bedtimes, and was the anchoring, nurturing and comforting presence as bread-winner Dad gathered the means to make it all possible.

    Mother was an accomplished artist and seamstress. This translated into the fashioning and construction of an imaginative array of Halloween costumes for we five. Rainy-day activities are remembered with a poignant fondness as Mom sought to cultivate the individual strengths in her sons and prepare the crew for whatever lay ahead of us. I feel that she and Dad succeeded beyond any standard of measure.

    In the 18 months since her passing I’ve had the time to reflect upon her still-felt influence in all of our lives. My Father still feels keenly the loss of, as he terms it; His: “Life Partner”. Sounds a bit antiseptic but I know that in keeping her memory alive inside of him that his term is the merest fraction, a glimpse, of the depth of his feelings for his beloved. This I know is true. I lost my beloved, her age was 44 years, 1 month and 9 days when she succumbed to the ravages of breast cancer, after a valiant struggle of nearly nine years, in June of 2002. Love, life and loss. The music, the symphony, which was the lives of our cherished Mother, our Wives is gone but the melody and memory lingers on.

  17. #17 MN
    February 7, 2010

    I’ve always lived with boys (brothers, husband, sons); this is tone-perfect! It isn’t the geodes, or the sledgehammer, per se; or even trucks, trains, heavy equipment, or other things we tend to associate with the males of our species: I like those too. It is getting swept up in the enthusiasm of a project and not thinking through the consequences. I hate being the voice of reason and caution, but that’s what seems to be in my chromosomes.