The always-brillliant and funny Christine Patton aka The Peak Oil Hausfrau, in the latest Peak Oil Review Commentary, has turned her sights to the IEA’s recent predictions, managing to properly skewer both the IEA’s predictions and the predictive value of economic modelling (two great tastes that taste great together!):
The International Economics Agency today released its World Income Outlook, which predicts a 564 percent increase in the median world income over the next three months. IEA Chief Economics Officer Brandon Blighted explains, “Our meticulous research clearly shows that an overwhelming majority of people, especially the Chinese, want more money – a lot more, in fact. With demand for income rising, it appears that the economy has little choice but to produce more well-paying jobs and excessive bonuses. That’s what we’re assuming, anyway.”
According to IEA’s projections, and despite a combined under- and unemployment rate of 17.6 percent in the US in October, the yearly median world income will increase from 5,000 to 27,500 in the next three months, with the median income for American households increasing from 30,500 to 167,000. When asked what currency the figures are in, IEA spokesperson Hope Hillston laughed. “Dollars, yuan, pesos, euros, what’s the difference? It’s all money.”
IEA authors divided the skyrocketing income gains into several categories. The “Existing income from existing jobs” category has been steeply declining for the last several years, with average continuing declines projected at 8.3 percent. The largest category, “Projected income from currently non-existent jobs,” steadily increases to compose an astronomical 90 percent of income by the year 2020, when the average Chinese peasant will be making 95,000.
Some people reported confusion surrounding the charts. “I don’t get it,” engineering student Jon Sherwood said. “Are they saying that cushy jobs will magically appear just because people want money? Did they take their methodology straight from The Secret, or has someone been dropping a few too many hits of acid before work?”
However, economic experts were confident in the Outlook. “Your average schmo on the street doesn’t appreciate the intricacies of economic forecasting, especially the part where we examine bloody eviscerated pig entrails,” commented Economics Professor Phillipson Lumpy Jr., of Wharton University.!
Like all of us, I could use more money – heck, I’m buying in. From now on, this blog will work entirely from the “we wish it was true, therefor it is” modelling strategy taken on by both IEAs. I’m predicting 4 kids per goat, 15 ears of corn per stalk and a husband who (along with the cushy salary increase the state of New York will inevitably offer him) wants to clean the barn every single day!