Casaubon's Book

Not Leaving the US, Waiting to Be Annexed

Posted by Sharon Astyk on November 30, 2010
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This morning four guys in camo and rifles were walking up my road at 6am, which means one of two things. Either it is Deer Season, or Canada has invaded. And that’s the real reason I’m not leaving the US – I’ve pinned my hopes on the conquest of upstate New York by Canada, who will ruthlessly impose national health care and better beer upon us.

Of course, back in the 1990s, Saturday Night Live already speculated on what a nation called “Amerida” might look like. (H/T to Edson for the video!)

I’m there already in my mind!

Sharon

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Comments

  1. #1 Anna
    November 30, 2010

    OK, this actually flushed me out of my comfortable lurking spot.

    As a Canuck, I can tell you with confidence that the guys in camo are Canadian *only* if the following is true:

    1. They knock polietly on the door and introduce themselves, and one of them is named “Gordie.”

    2. They never raise their voices.

    3. They offer you a “double double” and are confused when you don’t really know what that is.

    4. They ask first if you would like to be conquored, and mention the fact that we have better health care, better beer (especially if you go to the microbreweries), *and TimBits*.

  2. #2 rosa
    November 30, 2010

    Okay, I’m delurking as well. . . (also Canadian)
    Anna, lol! And so true! :)

  3. #3 Amanda
    November 30, 2010

    Ha!Ha!…um, not sure we’d want to take all America. I do have some cousins in Boston who have hinted that they may want to come back too…and you’d have to know what a toque is, you’ll need one.

  4. #4 Joe in A2
    November 30, 2010

    Posh. Some of the best micro-brews are in New York already – Ommegang for example. Although invading Michigan would be welcome, as we could better protect our lakes from those South-Dwellers. Could use some of that health-care too.

  5. #5 Thrivalista
    December 1, 2010

    Yup, I wanna be Canadian when I grow up. Would love to get annexed. Might have to watch “Canadian Bacon” again just to cheer me up. Can’t imagine the Canadians fouling up diplomacy on the grand scale the US apparently has.

  6. #6 baryogenesis
    December 1, 2010

    Well I jumped north decades ago and as a sort-of Canadian, I’m embarrassed to even see this stuff. Also, tho no place on earth is perfect, shhh.

  7. #7 Zeno
    December 1, 2010

    OMG, isn’t that Victoria Jackson participating in a skit mocking the government of the United States? I demand a show trial for her! (And she might, too!)

  8. #8 Anna
    December 1, 2010

    Joe in A2–we’ll have to have a “beer-off” :)

    Thrivalista–the diplomacy issue isn’t clear–we’ve had our bloopers. And then there’s the fact that the government (the largely Conservative-Appointed and -Dominated Senate, in fact, which the current Conservative government said they were going to reform, and would never use to undermine democracy this way) just killed Bill C-311 (which had already passed in the house of commons). They also just refused to renew funding for climate research in the Arctic, because, really, why would that be important?

    Sigh.

  9. #9 Green Assassin Brigade
    December 1, 2010

    While we’d be pleased to have you Sharon, our current neo-con fundamentalist leaders are quickly turning Canada into a dump, that and the sticker shock on Canadian beer would throw you into a terrible funk.

    We would however appreciate a speaking engagement above the border next year.

  10. #10 Kate
    December 1, 2010

    Hi Sharon
    Living in MI we have the same thoughts…we could just become part of Canada – eh? We are all hooked up with bridges and canals already.

    Thanks for the chuckle – really need it these days.

    Kate

  11. #11 Karen
    December 1, 2010

    Ha! From here in Maine, I recall my father actually wrote a letter requesting that the state be annexed when GWBush first became president. I don’t think he ever sent it, but I’m in agreement with you!

  12. #12 Noelle
    December 1, 2010

    Funny, I was just having a discussion with a co-worker about local produce at work and she was thinking that produce from upstate New York is actually closer to us (in Hamilton) than most other parts of Canada.

    I know a lot of writers who have already moved North. Maybe we can just move the border a little bit south to get a few more in the country. I actually think the northernmost states have more in common with the provinces they share boundaries with than they do with States farther south.

  13. #13 Lisa Z
    December 2, 2010

    Thanks for a dose of humor today. As a Minnesotan, I will welcome a takeover, friendly or hostile I don’t care as long as it includes health insurance.

  14. #14 Maria
    December 3, 2010

    Hah. Down here in Georgia I’ve started muttering about the need to dig out my toque. It’s annoyingly chilly suddenly. Mind you, it’s not cold, not at all cold, just… chilly. Oh the blank stares that got. Toque? Toque?? Is that like the Nissan Tiguan?

    ‘Like maple syrup, Canada’s evil oozes over the United States.’

    But I’ll echo an above response, some current Canadian politics and political trends are evil things to behold indeed.

  15. #15 film
    December 12, 2010

    Thanks for the constructive feedback :) regarding the Overworld limitations and linearity, I only felt it limited in the sense that you aren’t truely able to ‘explore’ fully in the way that could in other Zelda games – remember the underground caverns you could once find? – and quite frankly I miss that and it is basically linear in the sense that your destination is already chosen, yes you are still exploring and in a wonderful new way but this Overworld ‘Transport’ also highlights the limitations of what Nintendo can do with a 3D Zelda game on the DS but what they ‘have’ achieved is still impressive and I do acknowledge that fully.