Friday was a fabulous day, after a very, very long week. For a week, we frantically prepared for our final home visit. Some of it was pretty normal stuff – minor repairs, etc… Some of it, I think was pretty weird – who knew that freshly washed window screens were a requirement to be a good foster parent (yes, they did explicitly require that). They gave us hoops, and we jumped through like trained tigers .
But we passed – in what is still the first biggest news here in our particular tiny household in New York, Eric and I will be (as soon as the paperwork is processed) New York State foster parents and eligible to accept placements. After this, we wait for an appropriate placement, and go from there.
Outside our little household, obviously the biggest news in New York was that we finally caught up with cultural leader Iowa and got gay marriage!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS!!! No longer do I have to explain to my sons why New York’s marriage laws are so much stupider than other states. Plus, we’ve got some parties to go to!
All in all, Friday was a terrific day – gay marriage, certification, heck, even gelato with friends. What’s not to love about that! Plus, now the blog’s back and I can give you all my full attention.
Eric and I have never had a Jewish wedding – we had a civil wedding in MA many moons ago, before my conversion was completed, but for various reasons we have long put off a religious wedding, in part because I was unwilling to have one in a state or a movement that didn’t affirm gay marriage (and yes, I know that technically the state marriage didn’t matter anyway). My religious movement got its act together some years ago. On Sunday, at our Rabbi’s house, celebrating his daughter’s 8th birthday, our Rabbi asked “So, NOW can I marry you two?” I guess I have to say yes – so parties all ’round!
(I should note that while many of my atheist colleagues here at science blogs are rightly deploring the role of religious leaders in undermining gay marriage, my Rabbi is by no means atypical – my Conservative synagogue, my mother’s Episcopal church and the churches, temples, covens and synagogues of millions led the way on this issue – they offered gay marriage long before states began to do so, and they have been speaking from the pulpit in favor of gay marriage and trying to bring the law and their communities into sync for many years. My parents stood up and married in their church some years before they could do it in their state – and that’s true for thousands and thousands of gay people whose religious communities have taken the lead in social justice!)
I missed the first round of gay marriages in Massachusetts – my best friend was out cheering at Cambridge City Hall at midnight when the doors opened and the first celebrations began. We weren’t at my mother and step-mother’s legal wedding (although we were certainly at their church wedding some years before that!). Jesse, my friend called me so I coud hear the cheering and weeping for joy, and I wanted to be there as he was. Every friend and acquaintance I had called that day to ask if my mother and step-mom were really going to do it, to congratulate us and them. I couldn’t be there – we were caring for Eric’s grandparents and couldn’t leave them. I told my boys, most of whom were too small to really understand that they were around for something important that day. It felt like a large segment of the nation was partying – and that can only be a good thing.
You can be sure my family will be out there celebrating the first marriages in New York, that my sons, now old enough to care about justice and to understand what’s at stake will be out there celebrating. And again, I guess there’s no reason not to stand up under a chuppah ourselves. As it should be – parties all ’round!!!