A Chicago Tribune reporter travels to an Illinois farm to literally try to put lipstick on a pig:
Good ol’ Chicago. You won’t find a piece like that at The Times of London or The New York Times.
I need to visit Chicago again. It’s the only city I know that manages simultaneously to be a World City and to embody the character of the American Midwest where I grew up.
Chicago – been there twice and fortunately it was during spring/summer. Never experienced a winter there and never want to do so.
Actually one of my visits had me at the Bellcore training facility in Lysle, IL.
The one time I was in Chicago was around New Years….still great!
Which is sadder, to have too much time on your hands, or to write a newspaper piece to show people that you have too much time on your hands?
The other day, when I went out
To give the pigs their slop,
I noticed something quite unique,
That caused my jaw to drop:
My eyes bugged out a little bit;
My brain was doing flips–
For every pig was waiting there
With lipstic on their lips!
It’s all the rage, apparently,
Among the barnyard swine;
It’s sweeping farms across the world,
Including, clearly, mine.
They still were pigs, don’t get me wrong,
Of course the saying’s true,
But now my pigs had lipstick on,
In quite a gaudy hue.
Who knew that porcine makeup could
Command the nightly news?
Of course, there would be bickering,
And neighs, and clucks, and moos.
And so, of course, I should have guessed
What I would see today
While crossing through the farmyard, as
I brought the cows their hay:
The chickens were all gathered ’round
And wore, to my surprise,
A sparkly blue mascara
On the lashes of their eyes!
The horses had their highlights done–
One pony wore a weave–
The goats had gotten small tattoos
(They matched, if you’ll believe!)
The cattle all had rouged their cheeks
The sheep had pierced their ears…
In short, it was the strangest thing
I’ve seen in all my years.
The networks want to bring a truck
And put it all on tape;
They say the viewers love this stuff–
It leaves their mouths agape.
They’re going to run a five-part piece
(Cos four would be too short);
It’s good to know there’s nothing
More important to report.
Romeo, putting lipstick on a pig isn’t something you have time for; it’s something you make time for.
That reporter is a dead ringer for Michael Moore if Moore lost 50 pounds or so.
Digital Cuttlefish is right.
Also, about how annoying it is for starting up automatically. Sheesh, daftness knows no bounds when there’s ‘nothing more important to report…’
Sorry, that’s why I put it under the fold so visitors to the homepage do not have to watch it, only people who click on this one post do.
how annoying it is for starting up automatically
Flashblock for Firefox is your friend.
p.s. What? Not using Firefox? WTF’s wrong with you? /snark
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