From The Cronk of Higher Education, New First Year Experience Class: How To Not Be An Asshole, this is very funny.

The six-week class is comprised of five modules:

  • So You’re Drunk: A Guide To Quietly Stumbling Home
  • Street Signs Are Not Dorm Room Decorations
  • Streaking: A Fast-Track To Suspension
  • Noises Neighbors Hate To Hear After 10 pm
  • Nine Reasons the Police Will Handcuff You

Current students expressed skepticism about the offering.

“I think it’s retarded,” remarked Marco Miller, a current first year student. “Sometimes, when I’m mad, I just want to pee on a statue or throw bottles at parked cars. No class is going to convince me that those kinds of things aren’t fun. The Dean can suck it!”

Why did no one tell me of this Cronk before?

(Via the blog.)


  1. #1 J-Dog
    April 30, 2010

    Beautiful work. I just forwarded to my college-age kids.

  2. #2 Ross McMillan
    April 30, 2010

    Thanks for the link John. The cronk is a great read – would love if they did a podcast.

  3. #3 Cambrico
    May 4, 2010

    Good thing that Marco Miller lives in USA. I know what the police will make suck him if he gets got in my country, and as an extra will got taught the many horrible things that could be done with a beer bottle.
    If Marco doesn’t want to learn from a course, I hope he learns from experience.

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