Ah, The Onion. A true repository of snark and snideitude

But as the winter lingered, Spirit began producing thousands of pages of sometimes rambling and dubious data, ranging from complaints that the Martian surface was made up almost entirely of the same basalt, to long-winded rants questioning the exorbitant cost and scientific relevance of the mission.
Project leaders receive data from the Mars rover Spirit.

“Granted, Spirit has been extraordinarily useful to our work,” Callas said. “Last week, however, we received three straight days of images of the same rock with the message ‘HAPPY NOW?'”

*snip*

“Hopefully these malfunctions will straighten themselves out,” Callas said. “In the meantime, we’ll simply have to try to glean what usable data we can from ‘OVERPRICED SPACE-ROOMBA AWAITING MORE BULLSHIT ORDERS.'”

NASA remains optimistic that the rover will remain at least partially operational for the foreseeable future. However, because of the Spirit’s recent proclivity toward ramming into boulders at full speed, scientists have remotely disabled its 1.5-pound rock-abrasion tool so the rover is unable to terminate the mission prematurely.

I find this particularly amusing given my institutions prominent role in the Mars-Phoenix project.

Comments

  1. #1 NoAstronomer
    May 7, 2010
  2. #2 dominich
    May 7, 2010

    Right on topic, think you might like this:

    Spirit

  3. #3 blf
    May 7, 2010

    Whilst the Rovers may be starting to dislike Mars, what does Mars think? It’s got these really ichy things crawling all over it, and some annoying flying things buzzing around it. Everynow and then it’s punched and poked and otherwise abused by lumps of metal that slam into it, and jettison all sorts of rubbish in unmentionable places.

    Mars is not in a good mood. No wonder it asked for help from the Great Galactic Ghoul.

  4. #4 John Dupuis
    May 10, 2010

    NoA, dominich, thanks. I’d totally forgotten about that xkcd strip!

    blf, I guess we should watch The Onion for Mars’ response…

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