Sometimes it’s only through humour that we can understand just how serious an issue is. This is one of those cases. Heartbreakingly sad yet somehow ringing very true, this one is from The Onion: Suffering Blue Whales Plead With Environmentalists To Let Them Go Extinct Already.
NORTH PACIFIC OCEAN–Claiming that their miserable lives had become too depressing to endure, the world’s remaining blue whales surfaced Monday and desperately pleaded with environmentalists to immediately cease all conservation efforts so the species could “just be done with it and finally go extinct.”
The planet’s last few thousand blue whales gathered around the Greenpeace vessel Rainbow Warrior in the Bering Sea at approximately 9:45 a.m., thanking the activists on board for their good intentions, but also stating that the oceans had become so polluted, they had decided it was simply not worth going on.
“We really appreciate all you’ve done for us, but now you need to let us die,” intoned a 170-ton blue whale through a series of deep and mournful vocalizations. “I swallowed two plastic coolers, a tire, and about a hundred gallons of oil this morning. Is that any way to live?”
“I don’t see any future for whale species except extinction,” Payne said. “This is not on anybody’s radar, no government’s radar anywhere, and I think it should be.”