This is soooo funny. So funny it hurts. Ok, so maybe I’ve been guilty of one or two of these. Ok, maybe you have too. The more you’re guilty, the funnier it is.

To many, the Internet is a world full of promise.

To others, a ripe field ready to be harvested by douchebags.

Both are true.

I think the first douchebag was the knight in medieval times. You just know he clickity-clanked across the village in that dopey metal armor and thought he was so cool.

Oh look at me. I have armor!

And then he’d return to the castle and push the jester around with his joust. Jousting him in the ass, perhaps.

Anyways, here they are:

  • Nobody Knows What They Actually Do. When you try to find out what a social media douchebag does, you’re in for a dizzying deflection.

  • They Actually Think They’re Internet Celebrities.
  • They Will Speak At Any Event.
  • They Recommend Their Friends Who Are, Coincidentally, Also Douchebags.
  • They Always Need To “Rate A Brand”.

Come on, we’re all friends here. (Or should that be “friends?”) Fess up in the comments — and give your own signs that you’re talking to a social media douchebag.

(This one’s via Walt Crawford in the most recent C&I. Blame him if this cuts a little too close to home. I might even do a sequel post to this one…)

Comments

  1. #1 Wendy
    July 23, 2010

    You know you’re talking to a social media douchebag when … he’s following just as many people (or more!) on twitter as he has following him.

    (I checked your twitter … you’re safe on this count. And oh, by the way, I didn’t follow you. I’m sure you’re crushed.)

  2. #2 peter
    July 23, 2010

    I about died when I read this too. One of the funniest parts was the bit about all of them owning a Mac book. That is so true! Of course I only wish I owned a Mac. But probably never will… so maybe I don’t qualify.

    And, I could care less about twitter. Come to think of it – I may have completely missed the point!

    Another thing I noticed about them is they tend to whine a lot. About anything!

  3. #3 John Dupuis
    July 29, 2010

    Thanks, Wendy. I am crushed by the way. I love new twitter followers with intensity of the heat of the surface of the sun.

  4. #4 tütüne son
    August 2, 2010

    I about died when I read this too. One of the funniest parts was the bit about all of them owning a Mac book. That is so true! Of course I only wish I owned a Mac. But probably never will… so maybe I don’t qualify.

  5. #5 John Dupuis
    August 4, 2010

    Lab Rat, thanks, I should have remembered that…

    TS, yes, the Mac is key. The more photos on your blog/twitter feed showing you using the Mac the better, of course. Have to have the lovingly crafted fetish pics.

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