Friday Fun: 15 Signs You’re Talking To A Canadian

Classic, just classic: 15 Signs You’re Talking To A Canadian.

Here they are:

We Are Completely Comfortable With The Term “Homo Milk”
We Correct You When You Say “Soda”
We Are Offended When You Ask Us If We Know A Friend Of Yours Who, Coincidentally, Also Lives In Canada. You’re from Canada? Do you know my friend Tom? He lives in Canada too. Ever since Canada was invented, we’ve been asked this question. The American soldiers did this during the War of 1812. Good war, dude. Good war. I think my buddy Jacques lives up in Canada. Vancouver or some shit. Tall guy, eyepiece? You probably know him.
We Don’t Think “Legalizing Marijuana” Is A Debate
We’ve All Rolled Up The Rim To Win
We’ve Been Jealous Of Someone Else’s Toboggan
We Think ‘Beaver Tail’ Is Delicious
Our Parents Have Tied Our Mittens Together With A String So We Don’t Lose Them
We Were Raised, In Part, By Mr. Dressup
We Grow Playoff Beards.
We Are Angry That We Can’t Watch The Same Commercials As Americans During The Superbowl
We Know Where To Get Good Poutine
When We Hear “In The Five-hole” And “Spending Some Time In The Box”, We Don’t Think Dirty
We Give Directions Using Liquor Stores And Beer Stores As Geographical Benchmarks
Canadians Never Think Anywhere Is Cold Outside Of Canada

I would add that Canadian still vaguely pay attention to what William Shatner is doing.

What about you? What are your signs you’re talking to a Canadian?

As usual, more detail amusement is available at the original post.

Comments

#1 Rod
August 27, 2010

Regarding directions…. when you see the Tim Horton’s on your left, take a right and turn at the next Tim’s you see.
#2 Ethan
August 27, 2010

Correctly pronouncing “Toronto” as having only one “t”.
#3 John Dupuis
August 27, 2010

There’s also the difference between Muntreal and Mawntreal, but that might just be Quebecers vs everyone else.
#4 O Pioneer
August 27, 2010

A lot of those sound like Massachusetts too
#5 Birger Johansson
August 27, 2010

They seem like Scandinavians, but with a funny American English. Unlike ordinary Americans, they do not tend to believe in conspiracies (a big giveaway). They take a multiple-party system for granted -Americans think having more than two parties is against the laws of physics.

-If the person you are talking with casually mentions a relative that has an early twentieth-century tractor sitting in a field -and it has not rusted away- he is definitely Canadian (because of seasonal air humidity/temperature factors). The Canadian fields are great hunting grounds for old vehicle enthusiasts.
#6 Ken
August 27, 2010

After you insult them, they apologize for causing affront instead of punching you in the nose. There’s something sneaky about that. I just haven’t figured out what they are up to yet. Some kind of conspiracy with Greenland, I think…
#7 David Gerard
August 27, 2010

“Canadians Never Think Anywhere Is Cold Outside Of Canada”

I have seen this one in action.

“We Are Offended When You Ask Us If We Know A Friend Of Yours Who, Coincidentally, Also Lives In Canada.”

Australians get this too, but have given up being offended by it. Why? ‘Cos entirely too often, we do know them.
#8 Jeremy L
August 27, 2010

Being from Muntreal, it definitely rubs me the wrong way when I hear people say Mawntreal. Do Americans also say Mawnday?

Also, the liquor/beer store one doesn’t work for Quebec since we can pretty much buy beer and liquor anywhere.

I’ve heard that if you’re crossing the border into Canada and you say you’re from Toronto, not Charonto, you’ll get pulled over.

Another top sign:
16. You love top signs you’re Canadian lists.
#9 Jason
August 27, 2010

When people use one of the words “healthcare”, “education”, “socialism”, “evolution”, or “gun rights” in a sentence with curses and references to Nazi Germany, we collectively calk our heads like a golden retriever.
#10 simba
August 27, 2010

Same thing happens to Irish people. Again, like the Australians, we do sometimes know them.
#11 T. Bruce McNeely
August 27, 2010

We draw with pencil crayons, rather than “colored pencils”.

This has an interesting explanation. “Pencils” in French is “Crayons”. The boxes of these pencils were labelled bilingually, so that Pencils was always followed by Crayons. Hence Pencil Crayons.
#12 Tuco
August 27, 2010

Apart from pronouncing “about” as “aboot,” someone saying, “What’s up by you?” (as opposed to “What’s up with you?”) is a dead giveaway.
#13 Susannah
August 27, 2010

I want the toboggan they have there!

But, sorry; no, we’re not offended by Americans who think we must know good old Pete, from Canada. Can’t run around being offended all the time. We just apologize for not knowing him.

Sorry about that.
#14 Greg Laden
August 27, 2010

You’re such a hoser! I guess that I’ve been living close enough to Canadia most of my life that I sense some overlap.
#15 Joseph Hewitt
August 27, 2010

“Canadians Never Think Anywhere Is Cold Outside Of Canada”

I do this all the time… Also, at least in Korea, we tend to get quietly offended when people just assume that we’re American.
#16 Whiskeyjack
August 28, 2010

What gets me is when travelling in foreign countries and talking to locals, (especially Korea, Japan, or England) we find ourselves patiently trying to explain that there is more space between Vancouver and Toronto than in their entire country, and that no, you can’t take a train from Edmonton to Montreal for a day-trip.
#17 Don
August 28, 2010

Canada, eh?