Ah, The Cronk News. Always good for a laugh at academia’s expense!
I like this one from a few weeks ago, an amusing take on the whole town vs. gown issue: Townies Make Preemptive Strike On College
Town/Gown relations in Norwich, CT deteriorated in record time this year when students returned to campus. For over fifty years, tensions between “townies” and college students have centered around student vandalism of locals’ mailboxes, cars and homes. But this year, the townies took matters into their own hands.
“I was sound asleep and heard screaming and yelling,” said Patrick Minchoff, a junior living in Vanderbilt House. “When I looked outside, I saw a bunch of old Townies screaming and tee-peeing some trees. I had class the next morning. Don’t they know we’re trying to sleep?”
The Townies, who have adopted the name “The Rebel Alliance,” allegedly stormed the campus between the hours of 4 am and 7 am last Tuesday leaving a wake of vandalism and destruction.
Junior art major Shelby Harris says, “Next time, we’ll be ready for them.”
“The Townies pooped all over the front steps of our lobby,” exclaimed Charity Minster, a sophomore living in Thurston House. “We were totally trapped for hours. We didn’t know how to get out. There was a lot of poop.”
It’s completely hilarious how the “townies” call themselves the Rebel Alliance.
(It’s worth noting that I work at an urban commuter university with really very few of these types of issues. Also, both universities I attended (Concordia University’s downtown campus and McGill University) are located right in the heart of downtown Montreal and as such didn’t really have town/gown issues either. As amusing as this issue is, I come at it vicariously.)