A nice tutorial for all those Born Digital Natives out there who only know how to use the dagnabbit newfangled flibbergibbet iPadnicks and Kindlemawhoosits and Kobots.


1) Pick up book. Place in lap.

2) Open book.

3) Read the words.

Voila! Just three easy steps for you to enjoy that brand new paper book you received from Santa.

Put that in your manual typewriter and smoke it, you whippersnappers!

And get off my lawn!


  1. #1 polymathamy
    January 7, 2011

    I respectfully disagree with these instructions. I find that book font is too small to read comfortably when the paper book is in my lap, and looking so far down is quite straining on the neck and shoulders. It is much easier to navigate the text when the paper is held closer to eye level.

    Of course, if one is lying down to read, then the lap is indeed closer to eye level and thus may be an appropriate place to rest a paper book for reading.

  2. #2 John Dupuis
    January 7, 2011

    Poly, it’s too bad that these so-called paper books don’t have an option to increase the font size. Why would someone invent a device like that?

  3. #3 D. C. Sessions
    January 7, 2011

    This is not a new problem, and there are visual guides to train users:

  4. #4 John Dupuis
    January 7, 2011

    Brilliant! Perfect! I finally understand how to work those flat paper thingies called “pages!”

  5. #5 D. C. Sessions
    January 7, 2011

    I ran into that quite some years ago (as in, before YouTube) and have had innumerable opportunities to reference it since then.

  6. #6 Joseph
    January 8, 2011

    You might also note that the Analog Book can be used by anyone who can read its language (i.e. without respect to e.g. your operating system or reading equipment (i.e. your eyes, barring physical obstacles), “region code” (unlike DVDs, BluRay etc)), resold at will, and can only be legally removed from your possession or altered with your permission or a warrant addressed to you personally. You can also alter *your* Analog Book as you desire, e.g. by adding notes in the margins or underlining) without worrying about the notes being removed by your chosen book vendor or reading equipment provider.

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