Yes, well, we’ve all had days like that, where we’ve admired our furry friends’ abilities to wonder through life, tail-wagging, mouth-drooling, yip-yapping.

Fortunately, today is not one of those for me as I’m quietly at home preparing for a presentation next week and working on an ebooks post which will hopefully see the light of day one of these decades.

Oh, yes, but then I do check my email and want to be a dog.

Scientist discovers “being a dog” is key to reducing stress

‘Modern life gives people far too many things to worry about,’ claims Dr Nigella Gresley. ‘But it may already be too late for some of us to go back and do things differently. By evolving into multi-celled organisms, eventually adopting the class ‘Mammalia’ and going on to develop self-awareness and a fear of looking a bit fat in a cocktail dress, humans have a lot of ground to make up if they’re to devolve back to dog levels of insane, care-free frivolity.’

‘I tried attaching our state-of-the-art stress monitoring equipment to a beagle.’ explained Gresley. ‘Unfortunately, it tried to fight it, mate with it and then bury it in the garden.’ This behaviour is of course a ‘coping mechanism’ according to the scientist. ‘And it works: ‘Jimbo never cries himself to sleep or clenches his paws in frustrated rage.’ said Gresley. ‘Even if the neighbour’s garden is a disgrace, or there are clues that his owner’s husband MIGHT BE HAVING AN AFFAIR.’

Newsbiscuit, you are my new best friend. The Scitech section is hilarity upon hilarity.

Comments

  1. #1 Epicanis
    April 13, 2012

    As my pseudonym on the internet might suggest, I fully endorse these findings.

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