This is a classic case of “so funny because it’s so almost true that if you didn’t laugh you would stab yourself in the eye but that’s a bad idea because all the hospitals are placebo hospitals and placebos don’t work so well on stab wounds.”
From my new best friend, Newsbiscuit: Jeremy Hunt to open world’s first placebo hospital.
Britain’s first hospital built entirely on the power of suggestion is to be opened next week as a cost-effective solution to the rising price of healthcare. The Royal London Placebo is totally fabricated, offers no actual treatments and will be manned entirely by extras from TV shows such as Casualty and Holby City.
‘Each doctor will have a nice white coat, a plastic stethoscope and a range of brightly coloured sugar pills,’ explained Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt. ‘No expense has been spared,’ he said, ‘except the expense of building an actual hospital with trained staff and equipment.’
Pilot studies show that half the patients who attended a placebo hospital imagined they were better and went home; meanwhile the other half had a failure of imagination and died on the spot. ‘Either way it’s a win-win,’ said Hunt.
Read the whole thing. It’s very funny.