A fun sentiment if I’ve ever heard one. And I’m sure we all have a band/performer that we’d like to nominate as the “Performer most likely to keep aliens away from earth.” Being Canadian, I think I can safely nominate Celine Dion.


“We never visited because we hate The Carpenters” say aliens

Aliens have confirmed that they’ve never landed on Earth because they can’t stomach easy listening music. ‘We buzzed a Lighthouse Family concert in Tunbridge Wells and thought “Has it really come to this?”’ said a spokesextraterrestrial.

*snip*

‘It took me thirty or so of your Earth years to get there, and suddenly I found myself vectoring into a Dido concert. It was like falling asleep in a poppy field. I just about managed to come to my senses, fire up the reverse thrusters and get out in time.

‘The next time I visited, I re-entered your low orbit bang over a Cranberries concert, with special guests The Doobie Brothers. The indeterminate low hum was bringing me inescapably down. I burned out three clutches trying to reach escape velocity.’

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