Friday Fun: Print Dead At 1,803

Sometimes The Onion just nails it. I don’t have to say how funny/happy/sad/conflicted/overjoyed/suicidal/smug/ your average librarian is going to find this one.

Print Dead At 1,803

Reaction to print’s tragic demise was overwhelming, with countless individuals within the publishing sector left reeling at its death.

“I’m in absolute shock right now,” said Charles Townsend, CEO of Condé Nast Publications, who reportedly worked closely with the beloved medium throughout his career. “I knew that it had been struggling recently, but, still, I thought it had many more happy, healthy years in it. I always hoped it would be around forever, I guess. I loved print.”

*snip*

“You have to hand it to print, it really had an incredible run,” said Madison, WI resident and avid reader Emily Burnett, 39, noting that though she always knew in her heart print would pass away one day, it still hasn’t been easy to bid it farewell. “Look at print’s list of accomplishments: the Magna Carta, the King James Bible, the oldest surviving manuscript of the I Ching, the Declaration of Independence, the first edition of James Joyce’s Ulysses, every single issue of The Onion ever printed. That’s quite a legacy print’s leaving behind. And the world will not soon forget it.”

“On second thought,” Burnett added, after pausing a moment, “the world will probably forget it pretty soon, actually.”

Hey, Print, it was nice knowing you. I remember you fondly, especially those first comic books I bought with my own money in the early 1970s and Perry Rhodan books I so enjoyed when I was a bit older.

If anyone would like to add their own remembrances of our dear friend, please feel free to add them in the comments.

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