Added: Please note the date this post was published on.

After a couple of years of implementing some really amazing and progressive change at Elsevier, I’ve decided to refocus some of my advisory efforts over the next few years. As a result, I’ll be taking on a senior advisory role for the Government of Canada. I’m thrilled to announce I’ll stepping into a new position created just for me: Chief Advisor on Science Libraries.

In this capacity I’ll be reporting directly to our brand new Minister of State for Science & Technology Ed Holder and one of my chief roles will be liaising with Library and Archives Canada to make sure we coordinate our efforts to advance the corporate resource extraction innovation agenda in Canada while at the same time rationalizing our plans to digitize, destroy, outsource, collect and preserve Canada’s scientific, historical and cultural heritage.

Taking my direction from the recent necessary and successful expansion and consolidation of the Department of Fisheries and Oceans Library system, my goal will be to apply the successful strategies from that service expansion exercise to all the scientific and technical libraries that contribute so wonderfully to the activities of the government of Canada. One could almost think of the current proposal to outsource Canada’s national union catalogue, AMICUS, as a precursor of the extensive Open Access document digitization work I intend to undertake.

My initial strategic planning process will involve consulting widely with all the relevant stakeholders within both the library and scientific communities to establish what the priorities should be.

As such, the first course of action that I will undertake in my reign will be to use the successful DFO reorganization as an template to re-brand and right-size all the science library document services to reflect their ultimate purpose in promoting innovation and economic development. For example, I propose we rename the Environment Canada Libraries after the major firms in the natural resource development industry. I also propose that some random summer students scan the complete corpus of government scientific and technical documents that we have collected over the generations and put them on DVDs that I can then hide under my desk until someone asks for them. As if.

But the most important mission for the first year in my new role will be to set up an Library Advisory Board to engage all the major stakeholders of government science libraries. The charge of this group will be both to guide the re-branding effort and to help me come up with a strategic plan for maximizing the economic synergies and job creation potential inherent in the information that is stored in the science libraries that are part of the government of Canada and in outsourcing, rightsizing and re-skilling the staff that are required for the remaining physical and virtual collections and services.

I am pleased to be able to announce the Board. Many thanks to those able to participate.

Jane Slick, CEO, Enbridging Oil (co-chair)
Roberta Cadillac, Mayor of Toronto (co-chair)
Douglas Cadillac, Brother of the Mayor of Toronto (secretary)
Kevin Strawberry, Host, Coach’s Penalty Box, Hockey Night in Canada
Dan McAlear, Sidekick of Kevin Strawberry
Donald Norac, former head of Library and Archives Canada
Hubert Lepage, CEO, Barents Mining Canada
Sarah Costalotoplous, Owner, Scanotron Scanning by the Barrel
Mary Herring, President, Fisheries Industry Cabal of Canada,
Robin Ashton, CEO, Empire Tobacco Canada
Chip Awais, CEO, Temporary Foreign Workers R Us.
Angela Lee, CTO, TrashCo Document Shredding Company of Canada
Jimmy Washington, Used Booksellers Association of Canada
Pamela Brossard, Former Senator
Patrick Walloon, Former Senator
Matt Daffy, Former Senator
Nigella Wrong, Former Chief of Staff, PMO
Dim Soudasopolopolous, Former Executive Director, CPC

You all can’t believe how much I look forward to challenges and rewards of this new position! Housing allowances, luxury travel opportunities to international gatherings of bureaucrats, not to mention a limo and driver on duty 24 hours a day! Serving the best interests of the ruthless indifferent corporate taxpayer, here I come!

“And now…let the wild rumpus start!”

Added: I just realized I have an open spot on the Advisory Board. Please feel free to apply in the comments.

Comments

  1. #1 Kenny A. Chaffin
    April 1, 2014

    Congratulations and best of luck!

  2. #2 @speakup4sci
    April 1, 2014

    Oooh oooh! Me! I would love to work side by side with Ed Holder. Maybe I will get to meet my hero, Skippy Poliviere!

  3. #3 Barbara Fister
    United States
    April 1, 2014

    So pleased to see TrashCo Document Shredding Company of Canada represented on the board. [snerf!]

  4. #4 Double Shelix
    April 1, 2014

    Congrats! I hope you chip away at the opposition ;)

  5. #5 Holly Stick
    April 1, 2014

    Can I be the chief book-burner? Can I can I pleeease?

  6. #6 Will Meredith
    BC
    April 1, 2014

    You get the prize for best executed April Fools. I was sitting here, struggling to make sense of your post. For a while I wondered if this toilet had transported me to a different dimension!

  7. #7 deejbah
    April 1, 2014

    I have to say this and the post by Michael Eisen were two of the best April Fools posts I read!

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