Culture Dish

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Here’s some good solid (and useful) science for you: Researchers in
Liverpool have announced that “being pelted by a raw egg may
result in eye injury.” How they know: They studied the medical records
of 18,651 patients who’d gone to an eye unit over the course of 14
months. Thirteen turned out to be egg attack victims. As the BBC reported:

“The
researchers warn that egg hurling, sometimes used as a form of protest
or prank, is far from harmless. They point out, in the Emergency
Medical Journal, that an egg has the same dimensions as a squash ball
but carries even more weight when lobbed. Jon Durnian, lead author of
the paper from the Royal Liverpool University Hospital, said: “The
shape and weight of an egg makes it a perfect instrument to cause quite
a lot of damage it it is thrown accurately … Mr Durnian said the
public should be made aware of the damage an egg can cause and that
throwing eggs should definitely not be encouraged.”

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Durnian
has
a special beef with companies who sell eggs specifically designed
for lobbing, like “Mischief Eggs,” which are apparently sold during
Halloween. Who knew?

Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself, Who throws eggs anymore? I haven’t heard of anyone throwing eggs in years! Well,
I must say, if I’d known about those Mischief Eggs, I may have gotten
some. Because the truth is, in the last few years, I’ve actually thrown
a few eggs:

For years apartment was directly above the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel
in Manhattan, which meant the streets below my windows turned into a huge
parking lot during rush hour. Several times a week, people stuck in
that traffic leaned on their horns endlessly, as if their
blaring would help move cars stopped all the way to New Jersey.
This does not bring out the best in people: Some people would roll down
windows and shout obscenities at the honkers, others got out of their
cars, puffed up their chests and actually pounded on the windows of
honkers.  And I — twice in three years — opened my window and
hurled eggs at honkers. Fortunately for them, they’re in cars with
their eyes not pointed toward the eggs. And my aim is terrible, so I
couldn’t hit a person if I tried. But I can apparently hit the hood of
a car.

Update:  I may have
also lobbed a few eggs at certain political yard signs and banners during
the lead up to the last election (and the one before that).

Comments

  1. #1 alphabitch
    January 14, 2009

    yeah, it’s all very funny til you put someone’s eye out :)

  2. #2 Art
    January 14, 2009

    “I may have lobbed a few eggs at certain political yard signs and banners during the lead up to the last election”

    So, the pretty lady with the beautiful mind has a dark side.

    Good for you.

  3. #3 Austin Powers
    January 14, 2009
  4. #4 Austin Powers
    January 14, 2009

    Darn, the strike tags around “a shoe” didn’t show.

  5. #5 Skloot
    January 15, 2009

    Hilarious, Powers! “Who throws a shoe an egg?! Honestly!”

  6. #6 kamaka
    January 16, 2009

    Dammit. Stupid studies.

    Now I’m reduced to jello flinging.

  7. #7 olive oil
    May 29, 2010

    Unfortunately people do throw eggs and I do not find your synical article amusing. My teengage son was hit by an egg thrown from a passing car whilst waiting at a bus stop. As a result he has got a serious eye injury which may effect his sight for life so think before you jest!

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