Anders Behring Breivik is an admitted mass murderer of the victtims at Oslo, providing some answers. He referred to his own crimes as “atrocious” but “necessary.” More than 92 people are dead because of his actions.

Most media coverage has focused on the terrorist, the mass murderer, the anti-Islamist and far right fundamentalist Christian. No one really knows why he did this. I want to shift the focus to the story of one of the survivors. It deserves to be heard.

Leah McElrath sent this translation of a survivor’s blog via Twitter. She describes herself as a “Human rights activist, media strategist, psychotherapist: I tweet re human rights, feminism, politics, environment, random facts/humor.”

Irrespective of beliefs or non-beliefs, this is a human story. If only the 92 victims could have survived as did Prableen.

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Prableen Kaur: Hell on Utøya

// Rough translation of Prableen’s Norwegian post since I feel this
// deserves to be read by a wider audience. The original is here:
// http://prableen.origo.no/-/bulletin/show/672218_helvete-paa-utoeya

I am awake. I don’t manage to sleep any more. I am sitting in the
living room. Feeling grief, anger, happiness, God I don’t know
what. There are too many feelings. There are too many thoughts. I am
scared. I react to the slightest sound. I want to write now about what
happened on Utøya. What my eyes saw, what I felt, what I did. The
words are coming straight from my heart, but I will anonymise many
names out of respect for my friends.

We had a crisis meeting in the main building after the explosion in
Oslo. After that there was a separate meeting for members from
Akershus and Oslo. After the meetings many, many were in and around
the main building. We comforted one another that we were safe on an
island. No-one knew that hell would break out among us as well.

I was standing in the main hall when the panic broke out. I heard
shots. I saw him shoot. Everyone began to run. The first thought was,
“Why is the police shooting at us? What the hell?!” I ran into the
smaller meeting room. People were running. Screaming. I was scared. I
managed to get into one of the rooms at the very back of the
building. We were many in there. We were all lying on the floor. We
heard several shots. Got more scared. I cried. I did not understand
anything. I saw my best friend through the window and wondered if I
should go out to get him in to me. I did not manage to. I saw the fear
in his eyes. We remained lying on the floor in the room for some
minutes. We agreed that we would not get anyone else in in case the
killer came. We heard several shots and decided to jump out of the
window. Panic broke out among us. Everyone inside the room rushed to
the window and tried to jump out. I was the last one and thought: “I
am the last to jump out of the window. Now I will die. I am sure, but
maybe it’s ok, then I know that the others are safe.” I threw my bag
out of the window. Tried to climb down, but missed the roof. I landed
hard on the left side of my body. A guy helped me up. We ran into the
wood. I looked around me. “Is he here? Is he shooting at me? Do I see
him?” A girl had broken her ankle. Another one was badly injured. I
tried to help a bit before I continued down towards to the water. I
tried to find cover behind some kind of brick wall. We were many. I
was praying, praying, praying. I was hoping that God saw me. I called
my Mum and said that it was not sure that we would meet again, but
that I would do everything to make it. I said several times that I
loved her. I heard the fear in her voice. She was crying. It hurt. I
sent a text message to my Dad, saying that I loved him. I sent another
text message to a person I love very, very much I sent another text
message to my best friend. He did not answer. We heard several
shots. Curled together. Did every thing we could to keep warm. There
were so many thoughts. I was so scared. Dad called me. I cried, said
that I loved him. He said that he was on the way together with my
brother to get me when I came over to the main land or when they came
to the island. There were so many feelings. So many thoughts. I prayed
all I could. Some time passed. The others called their parents. After
a while everyone began to send text messages out of fear that the
killer should hear us. I thought about my sister who is out
travelling. How should I tell her how it went? What had happened to
me. I updated on Twitter and Facebook that for now I was alive and
that I was “safe”. I wrote that I was waiting for the police. People
jumped into the water, started to swim. I remained lying there. I
decided that if he came, I would play dead. I would not run or swim. I
cannot describe the fear, all the thoughts, what I was feeling.

A man came. “I am from the police.” I remained lying. Someone shouted
back that he had to prove it. I do not remember exactly what he said,
but the killer started to shoot. He reloaded. Shot more. He shot those
around me. I remained lying. I thought: “Now it is over. He is here.
He takes me. Now I die.” People screamed. I heard that others were shot.
Others jumped into the water. I was lying there. My mobile phone in my
hand. I was lying on top of a girl’s legs. Two others were lying on my
leg. I remained lying. Text messages come in. The mobile rang several
times. I remained lying. I played dead. I was lying there at least an
hour. It was completely silent. I cautiously turned my head to see if
I could see anyone alive. I saw dead bodies. I saw blood. Fear. I
decided to get up. I had been lying on a dead body. Two dead bodies
were lying on top of me. I had a guardian angel.

I did not know if he would come back again. I did not dare to check
who had called and texted me. I rushed down to the water. Took off my
sweater. It was big. I thought it would be hard to swim with it. I
wondered if I should take my mobile with me or leave it. I put it in
my back pocket and jumped in. I saw several others out in the
water. They had swum a long way. I saw that some had gathered around a
floating rubber boat or something like that. There were many who
picked up those who swam over there. I swam, swam, and swam towards
the boat thingie. I shouted. Cried. Got cold. Thought that now I would
drown. It got harder and harder. I prayed. I continued. Got tired in
the arms. Decided to turn on my back and just use my legs to continue
swimming. I sank. I began to swim normally gain. For a little while I
thought that those who had gathered around the rubber boat started to
move away. I screamed. Begged them to wait for me. I must have been
seeing things. In any case I swam some hundred meters before I reached
them. We talked a bit together. Told our names, where we came
from. When the boats passed by we cried for help, but they first
picked up those who were just swimming. A man in a boat came to us. He
threw out several life vests. I got one. Put it on. I held onto the
little air boat for a long time until the same man came back to pick us
up. Everyone got up. He started to drive towards the land. After a
while his little boat started to take in some water. I did all I could
to get out as much water as possible. I used a bucket. I got
tired. Another girl in the boat took over. We reached the land. We got
blankets. The tears were pressing on me. I cried more. A lady hugged
me. That was so good. I wept aloud. I sobbed. A man lent me his
phone. I called my Dad: “I am alive. I made it. Now I am safe.” I hung
up. Cried more. We had to go a little while. Totally unknown people
people took us into their cars and drove us to Sundvollen hotel. I ran
in to see if I could see my best friend. I did not see him anywhere. I
saw a friend. I was crying loudly. We hugged one another for a long
time. That was good. I walked around, looking for friend. My heart was
beating. I cried some more. I registered with the police, looked
through all the lists. I did not know if my best friend was alive. I
saw through all the lists. I could not find his name anywhere. I was
scared. I got a duvet. Took off the wet socks. I was half naked. Got a
jacket. I tried to collect myself a bit. Contacted my parents
again. Dad and my big brother were on their way to get me. I drank
some cocoa. Sat down. Thought. Cried. Saw more friends. Hugged
them. Cried. I got to borrow a computer. Updated Facebook and Twitter
again that now I was safe. I was in the hotel for several hours before
my family came. I was looking for people I knew. Talked to a priest. I
told him everything I had seen. That was a good conversation. A man
from the Red Cross looked at all my injuries. Cleaned them. Time went
by. I was with some of my friends. Everyone was talking about the same
thing. How we had survived. What had happened. I asked several if they
had seen my best friend. No-one had seen him. I got scared. I thought
that it was my fault because we had not managed to stick together. A
friend got a keycard to a hotel room. We sat down there, watched the
news. There was anger, grief, so many feelings. Dad called, they had
arrived. I took the elevator down. Ran out to them. Hugged my big
brother and my Dad for a long time. I wept aloud. My brother also
wept. It was a good moment. I saw a guy who looked like my best
friend. I called his name. He turned around. It was him. We hugged for
a long time. We both wept, we asked one another how we had
managed. After a while I checked out and we drive home. Some others
joined us in the car. My best friend came home with me. His brother
had come to me together with his best friend. There were several who
had gathered at my home. They did not want to go home before they had
seen that I was ok. We talked a bit. I drank a glass of juice. Ate a
yoghurt. Talked a bit more with my Mum and my family. I called my best
female friend. It was a good conversation. She said: “I was not sure
if I would ever get this call.” I had to cry. We talked for a
bit. Then I went to sleep. It was three o’ clock. My Mum refused to let
me sleep alone so we stayed together.

There have been a few hours now since all this happened. I am still in
shock. It all has not sunk in. I have seen the dead bodies of my
friends. Several of my friends have been saved. I am glad that I know
how to swim. I am glad that I am alive. That God looked after
me. There are so many feelings, so many thoughts. I am thinking about
all the relatives. About all those that I have lost. About the hell
that is and was on the island. The summer’s most beautiful adventure
has been turned into Norway’s worst nightmare.

    Current ye@r *