Christopher Monckton gets profiled in the Observer:
From those momentous words on, in his own head, Christopher Monckton appears always to have been starring in a Boy’s Own adventure entitled ‘Monckton Saves the Day!’ …
For a start, in this adventure, in which he routinely wore a bowler hat, Monckton won the Falklands conflict from his armchair after suggesting, he claims, to the Prime Minister that the best way to undermine the Argies was to have the SAS introduce a mild bacillus into the water supply in Port Stanley. ‘I can tell you from experience there is nothing more demoralising than having the trots in a trench!’ He believes, laughing a little wildly, she took him up on this idea and the rest is history.
On other occasions, try as he might, even Monckton could not get heard. He would have averted the Aids epidemic (having produced ‘probably the first working model for the transmission of this particular kind of retrovirus in the UK’, he insisted to the cabinet on compulsory testing of adults, legally enforced ‘restricted association’ for people who were HIV positive, but nothing was done). ‘Lobby groups howled. The homosexual lobby said we know you, you’re a Catholic, you don’t like queers.’
He would have saved us from poll tax by scrapping local taxation and adding to VAT, but he got sick and in his absence the foppish Oliver Letwin had decided that a universal tax was too ‘intellectually satisfying’ to ignore. He would have prevented us joining the ERM. ‘Not because I hate the European Union, but because I worked out the economics on the back of an envelope. [Monckton’s pockets, I can’t help thinking, must be stuffed with such calculations.] But John Major would not be told. I wrote to him privately; I sent people to see him. But he was deaf to the idea.’ In the end, like all good Tories, he instead placed a sizeable bet on sterling collapsing and ‘made a packet’ when it did.
Does he think he has ever been wrong about anything at all?
He ponders for a long moment. ‘Not on the big ones, no!’
So what will happen, does he imagine, to the current ‘big one’?
‘Well,’ he says, breezily, ‘for a few years, the temperature will continue to rise, but nowhere near as fast as the alarmists would wish it to rise. Then solar physicists suggest that in the next solar cycle but one, and a solar cycle is about 10.6 years, there will be a considerable cooling of the Sun. And the panic will disappear.’ Hey presto.
Via Hot Topic.