Posted by Tim Lambert on September 30, 2007 
There was a sales person at my front door. The conversation went like this:
SP: Are you interested in getting Foxtel?
Me: No.
SP: Well, [he's about to launch into his sales pitch, but then he notices Silas] That’s a really big dog.
Me: Yes.
SP: OK, bye.
Maybe you could introduce Silas to Michael Fumento.
What kind of dog is he? This is one of the reasons for having a dog. Cats don’t tend to be so useful in these situations.
Reminds me of the time a salesman was scared away from our house. He stepped onto the front doorstep rang the doorbell and two labradors ran up the hallway and bounced off the double glazing in teh dfront door, barking wildly all the time. Surprised by this he took a couple of steps back into the driveway and knocked my mothers can, which set the car alarm off.
He scarpered after that.
Maybe you can find a big dog to scare off the nutjobs over here in the comments sections.
Years ago I had a 90-pound Doberman. We always answered the door together, with my hand slipped under his collar from behind. The caller got answered by two faces at once, mine at face level and Boomer’s at crotch level. The caller, glancing down, would from the foreshortening immediately realize how large the dog’s jaw was, and the brain seems automatically able to compute that, ‘Gee, he could hold my head in his mouth.’
You could almost hear the sphincters clenching.
The deal was, if Boomer didn’t want the person to come in, he got final say. I’d tell them the dog won’t let them in and they’d give up and back away nervously.
Peddlars never decided to brave it and enter. Then they’d be in a closed room with him blocking the exit.
I learned a lot from that dog.
I recall reading about someone writing that her pet skunk responded to her feelings about anyone at the front door, and if she didn’t sound happy to see someone, her skunk would come to the door, turn its back and lift its tail and begin stamping its hind feet. Of course for that you have to open the door first …
Cats don’t tend to be so useful in these situations.
Depends on the species of cat. But I’m sure there is a reason people haven’t bred larger domesticated cats…
>Depends on the species of cat. But I’m sure there is a reason people haven’t bred larger domesticated cats…
Because cats are opportunists. I love them; but a tiger sized domestic cat would probably eat the owner if got into a bad mood. It would definitely eat the baby.
Hi all
I see your dog is black, he must get real hot these days with global warming, another species under threat is the black labrador.
Regards
Peter Bickle
Does Silas work for phone calls too?
Here in the U.S.A., I have an Australian Cattle Dog. A red, many assume she is fox/dog cross. Anyway she goes ballistic when the door-bell rings. I slip my hand under her collar and open the door. She lunges forward against her collar, fangs bared, spit-flying and barking (cursing) in the foulest of manners.(restraining a dog just pisses-em off)
This is usually enough to keep conversations short. The thing is, my dog loves people, she just hates the doorbell. So all I have to do is give two sweet words and she quiets, her tail tail having begun a wildly happy wag.
I see your dog is black…
It’s always gotta be about race with you people…
Hi all
Boris says:
It’s always gotta be about race with you people…
Define ‘you people’. Saying the dog was black is more or less a statement of fact looking at the picture, (sure it is not deep charcoal and there are white bits but it was done in jest). What do you think we can call a BLACK Labrador instead? Also, I think it is about breeding, not race when it comes to dogs. You lefties always have a cringe factor when it comes to using words such as black, even Tim’s piece about a sales ‘person’ is typical of PC nonsence, was the person a salesman or saleswomen, gives a clearer picture IMHO.
I can’t wait until Peter Jackson does the modern version of Dam Busters to see if the politically correct get their way with the naming of Guy Gibson’s dog, who was called Nigger. That too is a statement of fact. It was not offensive 65 years ago to call your pet Nigger, unlike today. If it was an issue, get a tissue.
But here is a thought, 50 years ago if I said I was gay, people would say I am happy, now though it means I am a homosexual.
So it does not always come down to race, but use the word black and it is assumed it does. BTW, I have a relative who is playing in the Rugby World Cup for Tonga, he is brown in colour but we get on real well. Do you consider this a race issue and is using the word white offensive?
I love the English language, it can be interpeted in so many wonderful ways.
Regards for a wet New Zealand
Peter Bickle
I didn’t expect that response…
My friend just adopted a black dog and I couldn’t get over the fact that it acted just like my white dog. There was no difference. No difference.
I now have a black dog, and I swear, he never, ever gave me that “Where’s my iced tea, motherf—er? look. Billo would be stunned.
I think Boris was joking, Peter. But I can empathise with your views. Lefties don’t have a sense of humor these days. they are absolutely mirthless beings unable to crack a smile at anything. Lamert can be an exception at times.
But I am suprised at your comment about how many breed types we’re going to lose. Is the black Lab going to head towards extintion? Really? Has Greenpeace- the whalewatchers Society- made any attempts to prevent this. We had a beagle until it’s nose got the better of him when it took off looking for the perfect scent and crossed the road. Boing!!! It was over.
Is global warming a threat to the beagle population? Do you know, as we were thinking of getting another. If so it ought to go on the list immediately.
http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm
Beagle and dark colored dog extinction.
Mariod Delagardo,
Yea, I know I ought to be banned or beheaded, so what else is new?
We had a beagle until it’s nose got the better of him when it took off looking for the perfect scent and crossed the road. Boing!!! It was over. Is global warming a threat to the beagle population? Do you know, as we were thinking of getting another.
Happened to our first beagle, too. The second is doing much better, thanks to a radio fence.
Beagles are well suited to life in a warming world, as they are equipped with extremely efficient aural radiators. Lesser breeds have to make do with simple panting, but beagles can pant and shake their ears at the same time, thus cooling off efficiently. This is why the amazingly charming Peg is always on the lookout for a patch of sun to sleep in.
Silas is a Great Dane Bull Mastiff cross. He is not black, but a gray brindle.
As far as black dogs go, while they will absorb more radiation, they also have greater emissivity, so if they can find a shady spot they should be cooler than lighter coloured dogs.
They are shockingly behaved dogs, Gareth. The worst in my estimation. But they’re not stupid…. and actually its the opposite. Beagles just think ownership is the other way round. I see them as the libertarians of the dog world. Most other breeds are basically just Nazis with fur and four legs.
That’s a mighty fine look animal, Tim.
Tim, are you sure about black dogs having more emissivity? My impression is that most organic materials are essentially black at the relevant IR frequencies.
Yeah, Kirchhoff’s Law is wavelength specific, so there’s no reason to assume that a surface with a high absorptance in the visible spectrum must have high emissivity in the IR.
Looking over an old (draft) copy of a textbook on biophysics, I see a table that lists longwave emissivities for various types of mammals as all ranging from 0.98 to 1.00. Not much of a range. In contrast, shortwave absorptance for mammals seems to range from <0.5 (white cat) to at least 0.8 (bison).
So if the sun were getting brighter, dark-furred critters would be subject to more warming than light-furred critters.
But as we all know, modern GW isn’t caused by an increase in solar irradiance. If you’re worried about your beagle overheating in a 2X CO2 world, you want to pay attention to their boundary-layer thermal conductance, not their albedo.
Peter gets pwned by missing Boris’ snark, which sets jc off on a rant showing that he lacks a sense of humor. Rather than being beheaded, do you think we could get up a collection to buy jc one?
You should also stay away from spherical dogs, however much mathematicians wants to assume them.
Eli,
I was joking, you airbrished stiff. It was an attempt at irony.
The last time I saw JWs at the door we had two Rottweilers. There was no conversation…
Beagles just think ownership is the other way round. I see them as the libertarians of the dog world.
Beagles do not have enough operational neurons to be libertarians. In fact, they only have two operational neurons, and both of them are in the nose. In other words, nice dogs, but dumber than a box of rocks.
Most other breeds are basically just Nazis with fur and four legs.
OK, *you* try the “Kirche, Kutchen und Kinder” routine with a female of any molosser breed….
Graculus:
Beagles do not have enough operational neurons to be libertarians. In fact, they only have two operational neurons…
Judging by those who show up here, how many more do you need?
“another species under threat is the black labrador”
Not in New Zealand because there’s no Sun there.
Greetings from a warm, dry Australia.
Wow, Silas is a real cutie. I want to rub his belly.
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