You might have learnt in stats class how to use linear regression to estimate trends. Well I’m sorry but you going to have to forget it all and the boring statistics books are going to have to be rewritten because that stuff is obsolete due to revolutionary breakthrough by Roger Pielke Sr. If you use the boring-and-now-obsolete linear regression stuff on the University of Colorado at Boulder sea level data you discover that the trend is positive and highly statistically significant, even if you just consider the data since 2006.

But using his revolutionary new technique Roger Pielke Sr discovers that sea levels are not rising and in fact: “Sea level has actually flattened since 2006.”

Look at the proof and marvel:

Pielke also claims:

Their has been no statistically significant warming of the upper ocean since 2003.

David Appell is mystified because this is contradicted by the latest research, but the answer is simple:

No increase there once you Pielkeize the graph.

Pielke’s third and final claim is that Arctic ice is not shrinking because it’s increased since 2008. If only we had been measuring ice before 2008! Oh, wait:

Oh heck, I can’t resist proving that temperatures have not risen since 1975.