Here’s the original story on March 4:

An Israeli model has been hospitalised after being bitten on the breast by a snake during an ill-fated radio stunt. …

She received a tetanus shot and stayed for observation, but has suffered no long-term damage from the incident.

Here’s the Daily Mail version on Mar 15 after being sexed up:

But surgically enhanced Israeli model Orit Fox got more than she bargained for when the massive boa constrictor took objection to her over familiarity and reacted by biting into her breast.

However, it was the snake who came off worse because, while Ms Fox need a tetanus shot in hospital, the reptile later died from silicone poisoning.

Readers are invited to list, in comments, all the different ways that this is impossible.

Comments

  1. #1 Ben Haslem
    March 15, 2011

    Silicone is non-toxic. They use it in Terrariums FFS.

  2. #2 Alex
    March 16, 2011

    A Boa Constrictor’s teeth point backwards into the mouth. :)

  3. #3 Dom
    March 16, 2011

    Teeth pointing inwards doesn’t prevent them from biting someones breast (they often bite their handlers), but inflicting a wound deep enough to penetrate an implant may be a challenge.

  4. #4 Alex
    March 16, 2011

    Umm, Dom, have you even seen Orit Fox? Do a Google and tell me that any snake, teeth inwards or out, can bite her bosom …

  5. #5 akiwiinoz
    March 16, 2011

    Holy silicon cyborgs, Batman.

  6. #6 Alex
    March 16, 2011

    … uh, and especially a Boa Constrictor, of course, which was my point. :) Biting finger or things that have a bitable, pointy bit; easy. Biting Orit Fox bosom, huge and unmanageable as they are; probably impossible when your teeth are pointing inwards.

  7. #7 rienzi0711
    March 16, 2011

    Depending on where the implants are located, it’s possible the snake never got anywhere close to piercing them.

  8. #8 anon
    March 16, 2011

    Who’d like to ask Tim how he came by this remarkable story?

  9. #9 Clam
    March 16, 2011

    It’s easy, the snake died of fright.

  10. #10 SteveC
    March 16, 2011

    So presumably this snake not only bit the silly cow but in one bite took off both her breasts and swallowed them.

    Seems to me it would’ve died of terminal constipation.

  11. #11 Oakden Wolf
    March 16, 2011

    OK, enough of that. Now back to the Daily Mail’s continuing 24/7 coverage of Kelly Brook, and the occasional (!) story about a British footballer cheating on his wife or girlfriend, or both.

    (I do have to say, though, they had the most comprehensive collection of Japanese earthquake/tsunami pictures I’ve seen anywhere.)

  12. #12 DR
    March 16, 2011

    http://www.anorak.co.uk/276178/celebrities/orit-fox-breastfeeds-a-snake-video.html
    Here’s a video of the incident! Snake sure did bite her but i’m not sure about the dying of silicone poisoning part!!

  13. #13 savemejeebus
    March 16, 2011

    Isn’t everyone missing the obvious. Put aside the fact that silicone is non-toxic as it is used in cookware, wound care, sex toys, and various other objects and applications that can be injested, inserted into and smeared on the human body; put aside that we do not know whether her implants are saline or silicone filled. Given that she only needed a tetanus shot while in hospital means that her implant was not punctured and that said snake could not have injested anything.
    *
    “massive boa constrictor” my arse. The clip on youtube shows it is only 6-8 feet long.

  14. #14 Lars Karlsson
    March 16, 2011

    “Put aside the fact that silicone is non-toxic as it is used in cookware, wound care, sex toys, and various other objects and applications that can be injested, inserted into and smeared on the human body;”

    Icluding breast implants…

  15. #15 JamesA
    March 16, 2011

    The snake should sue for libel.

  16. #16 Boa Constrictor
    March 16, 2011

    The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, just like Orit Fox’s fake breasts.

  17. #17 Phillip IV
    March 16, 2011

    The Armenian Radio was asked: “Is it true that an Israeli model was bitten in the breast by a snake which then died from silicone poisoning?”
    The Armenian Radio answers: “In principle yes, but it was not an Israeli model, rather a Welsh mailman, and he was not bitten by a snake, but by a dog and it wasn’t in the breast, but in the leg. Also, the dog did not die of silicone poisoning, rather it was put to sleep. Everything else is accurate.”

  18. #18 Rattus Norvegicus
    March 16, 2011

    Gack! I saw this video on Tosh.0 (an American comedian who has a show on Comedy Central featuring You Tube videos along with ironic comment) Snake bit her right on the left tata.

    You ask whether there was anything wrong with the DM story, but I have to ask in retort “did you see the stunt? Anything wrong with that?”.

  19. #19 Jeffrey Davis
    March 16, 2011

    Silicone breasts are kitniyot. So, the snake died of shame.

  20. #20 barry
    March 16, 2011

    It’s all over the net. The Daily What connects the dots, maybe.

    http://thedailywhat.tumblr.com/post/3880848940/special-report-of-the-day-so-heres-a

  21. #21 Steve Reuland
    March 16, 2011

    I don’t know much about either breast implants or boa constrictors, but I’ll take a shot at this:

    1. A boa’s teeth are nowhere near long enough to penetrate down to the breast implants, which are located under the mammary glands or even under the pectoral muscles.

    2. Even if they were long enough, they probably couldn’t pierce the extremely tough lining of the implant, and would most likely just push the implant inward.

    3. Even if they pierced the implant, the silicone gel is a semi-solid that wouldn’t leak into the snake’s mouth. The snake wouldn’t ingest any measurable amount.

    4. Even if the snake ingested some, it’s non-toxic.

    Do I win?

  22. #22 Wow
    March 16, 2011

    Only if you add

    5. The Snake was Snake Plisken. Who liked it. Dirty dog.

  23. #23 Crispy
    March 16, 2011

    Okay, I’ve read the story… Ms Fox got to first base, the snake made it to second.

    I think this is a case of journalistic Chinese whispers. The Mail picked up the story from a publication less rigorous with the facts, who couldn’t resist adding what is clearly the punch line from a tired stand up routine. “Did you hear (insert name of well endowed celebrity here) got bitten by a snake? She’s okay but the snake died of etc etc etc”

    PS I was kidding about the ‘rigorous with the facts’ bit.

  24. #24 Nick
    March 16, 2011

    Correction. It’s the Daily Mail that is surgically enhanced: a significant percentage of its content is breast-based.

  25. #25 Donald Oats
    March 16, 2011

    At least they keep abreast of the news…sorry all.

  26. #26 kfr
    March 17, 2011

    And be careful of what you read in the Telegraph:

    http://bengoldacre.posterous.com/how-far-will-the-daily-telegraph-distort-a-st

  27. #27 Andrew
    March 17, 2011

    Still can’t get to this site from work. I have passed my IP on to ScienceBlogs with no response or effect. A university friend has let me post this from their browser. Sorry but you have lost me and who knows how many other readers.

  28. #28 Dacron Mather
    March 17, 2011

    The incident described is impossible because each brassiere cup increment requires six feet of snake length to gape wide enough to devour the contents.
    Thus it takes a twenty-four foot boa to attack a D-cup model.

    As the terpsichordian Miss Fox is an E cup at the very least, and there are no thirty foot boas, the incident is fictitious.

  29. #29 Russell
    March 17, 2011

    One glance at the edifying pages of the Daily Mail is enough to convince me that James Delingpole has gone off moonlighting from the Spectator*.

    * note to Editor : do not fail to invite Miss Fox to the garden party .

  30. #30 In Hell's Kitchen (NYC)
    March 18, 2011

    the Daily Mail report of my death is greatly
    exaggerated ! slurp !

  31. #31 S. Molnar
    March 18, 2011
  32. #32 DavidCOG
    March 18, 2011

    Obligatory note of apologies the Daily Fail was forced to publish:

    * “In fact Mr Bellamy had not been on an all day drinking session nor did he assault anybody. Mr Bellamy has been working in Sierra Leone setting up a charitable foundation for local children. We apologise for any embarrassment caused. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/article-1040112/Craig-Bellamy.html

    * “This was wrong. David Gest has never had a sexually transmitted infection and did not have Ms Minnelli’s dog killed.” http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1027836/David-Gest.html

  33. #33 Marion Delgado
    March 19, 2011

    Hold up there, David Cog.

    We Mail fans are having none of your nit-picking!

  34. #34 DavidCOG
    March 20, 2011

    Marion Delgado:

    > We Mail fans are having none of your nit-picking!

    You’re right, of course. Piffling details.

    ["Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxFrXuly_B0) :)

  35. Fuck me sideways! She’s got a plastic head as well as plastic tits.

  36. #36 Lionel A Smith
    March 23, 2011

    kfr #26

    Ben Goldacre at his main blog provides even more evidence that newspapers employ idiots to write their stuff:

    Why don’t journalists link to primary sources?

  37. #37 Dale Husband
    April 9, 2011

    I googled the name Orit Fox and saw pics of her with her giant breasts. I actually find women who have had such plastic surgeries repulsive. Woman should be happy with whatever breasts their DNA give them, in most cases. Taylor Swift is an example of someone who will never need breast implants, or any other cosmetic surgery, to look beautiful.