Mark Hoofnagle has a MD and PhD in physiology from the University of Virginia, and is now a general surgery resident. His interest in denialism concerns the use of denialist tactics to confuse public understanding of scientific knowledge.
As PalMD has pointed out, millions of Americans use detoxification to improve their optimal health and well being. But the wisdom of detoxification has an underbelly, one not discussed in the MSM: what happens to those toxins after detoxification?
Unfortunately, those toxins do not just disappear. They are exuded from your body and circulate in your immediate environment, placing your family members and animal companions at risk. The toxins then magnify in their bodies, and if they detoxify, you can be retoxinated. This is what is called the deretoxification trap.
An additional problem is that some toxins escape down the drain, where they poison water systems. Even worse, your pets, which do not have good detoxification therapies, may absorb and keep the very toxins you have exuded.
Technology and changes in behavior can minimize the risk from deretoxification. First, after detoxification, you should hold your breath when urinating or evacuating. During these periods, toxins are most likely to leave your body in an aerosolized form and either be reabsorbed or accumulate in the tissues of others. It is very important to never urinate or evacuate near individuals with compromised immune systems, or those sensitive to toxins.
Second, you should avoid perspiration, because toxins are exuded at their greatest rate when sweating. Avoid saunas and vigorous exercise, as perspiration may occur near your orifices, thus allowing toxins to reenter your body.
Pregnancy raises difficult deretoxification challenges. I recommend that you do not detoxify in the last month of pregnancy, or any time during breast feeding. It's best to keep your toxins deep inside your body during this critical period of development.
Technology offers new opportunities to end the deretoxification trap. Denialism blog is happy to announce that we have partnered with Mike Adams, a leader in the vibrational nutrition field, to create special filtering masks to help those who have difficulty holding their breath during long periods of urination or evacuation.
We are also developing a magnetic filter to help trap toxins in your waste water. This filter, which employs extra strong magnets (offering the derivative benefit of better blood flow for those who spend long periods in the bathroom), collects toxins and allows you to recycle them at your local toxin reclamation site.
Comments
Please, please, PLEASE write more of these.
Posted by: Skwee | August 29, 2008 11:28 PM
Ultimately, it was humorous; but, sarcasm on the Net can be scary. I suspect the preceding post is also tongue-in-cheek.
Posted by: Joe | August 30, 2008 5:20 AM
"vibrational nutrition field" that almost sounds dirty. Vibrational? How do I purchase?
Posted by: Danimal | August 30, 2008 8:14 AM
"vibrational nutrition field"
Green Jello
Posted by: Todd | August 30, 2008 8:18 AM
Ha! Nicely done! You should put out a call for investors! Sadly, though, you might actually get some responses.
Posted by: RebekahD | August 30, 2008 9:34 AM
It's all fun until someone starts citing this as fact. Then it's hilarious.
In all seriousness, this great stuff.
Posted by: I am so wise | August 30, 2008 9:39 AM
First, after detoxification, you should hold your breath when urinating or evacuating.
Shouldn't that be DURING detoxification, so you don't risk inhaling and re-absorbing all those toxins?
To be really safe, you should have an all-natural catheter directing that toxic liquid waste into a collection container, and a vacuum terlet like the astronauts use.
And how are Kinoki Footpads disposed of? Does the local haz-mat team come get them?
Posted by: Tsu Dho Nimh | August 30, 2008 10:49 AM
Slap that on a placard where you sell special 'detox filter masks', a N-95 mask dyed green and priced five times more than any other similar mask, any you will make a fortune.
There is one born every minute and they all are into the woo.
Posted by: Art | August 30, 2008 12:08 PM
An important clarification.
The time that the developing fetus is most sensitive to toxins is during the first trimester when all the differentiation and epigenetic programming of adult physiology is going on. It is exposure to toxins during the first trimester that allows physiology to epigenetically program the cells of the body to cope with those toxins later in life.
It is sort of like vaccination, exposure to toxins during the first trimester programs physiology to be able to deal with those toxins for the rest of the organism's life.
What is worse than exposure to toxins during the first trimester is exposure to variable levels of toxins. The holistic approach to dealing with toxins is to make sure not leave any holes in physiology. Changing toxin levels during pregnancy results in a phenotype that doesn't know which levels of what toxins to try and deal with.
It is the entire pregnancy that one should avoid trying to reduce toxins.
Posted by: daedalus2u | August 30, 2008 2:57 PM
"The holistic approach to dealing with toxins is to make sure not leave any holes in physiology"
Wouldn't that be the antithesis of hole-istic?
PS - How can I tell if my physiology has any holes?
Posted by: Alex | August 31, 2008 3:07 PM
Here's a Million-Dollar-Idea!
Introduce a product that not only detoxifies but collects the toxins and provides a safe and eco-logically sound means to dispose of them! Something like the silly foot pads would work fine 'cause the mark, oops, Consumer, can actually see the shit that comes out of them. Now the killer part:
1. Sell them a receptacle for used foot pads.
2. Sell them a retrieval service involving people in tailored khakis driving impressive looking vehicles who come and take the receptacle, leaving a new, empty one in its place.
3. Sell them the notion that by purchasing all of this that they are not only cleaner (and, oh, so smart), but so is the whole planet and all its happy inhabitants.
If anyone tries this and it works, I want 55% of gross.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | August 31, 2008 6:24 PM
Chris, any thoughts on what a placebo filtering mask would like like?
Posted by: Jason Koulouras | September 1, 2008 6:08 PM
Oops, that would be: Chris, any thoughts on what a placebo filtering mask would look like.
Posted by: Jason Koulouras | September 1, 2008 6:09 PM
@Jason, they'd have to be sleek and "green," as in good for the environment, at least in appearance.
Posted by: Chris H. | September 2, 2008 2:10 AM
It is exposure to toxins during the first trimester that allows physiology to epigenetically program the cells of the body to cope with those toxins later in life.
Posted by: zayıflama | September 5, 2008 3:24 AM