Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Bravo, Mr. Scalzi

Posted by Ed Brayton on May 17, 2004
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John Scalzi has a wonderful post today about weddings and marriage, in the form of advice to gay couples getting married now that the Massachusetts ruling has gone into effect as of this morning and gays are allowed to marry in that state. It’s brilliant and funny and moving, and all in all a great reminder of why John has one of the must-read pages in the blogosphere. A few things that stick out:

Some people don’t think you should invite your exes to the wedding. But I think it’s not such a bad thing to have one person in the crowd slightly depressed that they let you get away. They’ll get over it at the reception. Trust me…

Try to remember as much as you can. Don’t worry if you don’t; what you absolutely will remember is how it feels to be with those who love you, who are pouring their love and happiness over you. Weddings are testimony to your clan of family and friends. You put them on to give them a chance to share your joy. They come to them to remind you that they already do…

Remind the DJ or band that they work for you, and they’ll damn well play anything you want.

That last one got to me because I’ve already said that if there is even one stanza of the hokey pokey, the locomotion, the electric slide, the hustle, the chicken dance or any other audience participation song at my wedding reception, the DJ gets beheaded in full view of all the guests. And no, this is not an idle threat. I will stop such cultural terrorism by any means necessary.

Anyway, please follow the link, read it and share it with others. A few more of us straight folks need to spread the message that being in favor of gay marriage is being in favor of marriage, period.

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Comments

  1. #1 Lynnie
    May 17, 2004

    Dang Ed, not even the “chicken dance”?? ….. LOL

    My biggest peeve at weddings are those who bang silverwear on their glasses to tell the bride and groom to kiss.

    Thank you for linking to John Scalzi’s blog.
    His article is marvelous.

  2. #2 Ed Brayton
    May 17, 2004

    LOL honey. You know how I feel about those songs. And don’t marry me with any illusions of me ever doing anything even remotely resembling a line dance. I’d rather be covered in honey and tied to an anthill. I’d rather be trapped in a room with Celine Dion AND Pauly Shore. Okay, that’s a stretch. :)

  3. #3 Lynnie
    May 17, 2004

    Okay, deal! But, you have to tell all your friends and family not to “ding” on glasses, fair enough? LOL
    We will kiss when “we” want to. LOL

  4. #4 joe in oklahoma
    May 18, 2004

    finally marriage coming into its own?
    if the traditionalists are right and this is the end of civilization as we know it… i say, it’s about time!

  5. #5 bear, the (one each)
    May 18, 2004

    Oh, come ON now, Joe! Folks like Larry King, Newt Gingrich, and Bob Barr can tell us all about the sanctity and beauty of traditional heterosexual marriage. I mean, they’ve all had so many of them…

  6. #6 Rob Ryan
    May 18, 2004

    My happiness (or sympathy) on behalf of couples being married has nothing to do with the gender issues. If they are happy, I am happy.

  7. #7 Ed Brayton
    May 18, 2004

    if the traditionalists are right and this is the end of civilization as we know it… i say, it’s about time!

    I refuse to call them traditionalists. If they were traditionalists, they would support arranged marriages and polygamy, which are far more traditional and predate the notion of marriage based on romantic love. They are in fact unprincipled radicals bent on destroying these traditional definitions of marriage, if one were to take their own rhetoric seriously.

  8. #8 Ed Brayton
    May 18, 2004

    My happiness (or sympathy) on behalf of couples being married has nothing to do with the gender issues. If they are happy, I am happy.

    I think the juxtaposition of happiness and sympathy is appropriate here. I have no doubt that most gay marriages, like most straight ones, will be empty at best and downright destructive at worst. I don’t see any reason why homosexuals would be any better at picking the right partners, or doing the work necessary to keep a marriage going, than heterosexuals are. The important thing is that they have an opportunity to succeed or fail at it just like we do.