And I feel fine. But it seems as though yesterday’s official start of legal gay marriage in Massachusetts has provoked much wailing and gnashing of teeth among the religious right. This is to be expected, of course, but I can’t be the only one who is actually enjoying watching all of this feverish hand wringing. I just can’t help but be amused by blog entries like this one from a blog entitled, ironically, Sunny Days in Heaven. It appears as though the cloud of gay marriage is ruining this poor fellow’s day. He begins,
When words like marriage become debased (and thus meaningless as we see today in Massachusetts, people generally coin a new word or phrase.
Ah, yes. Obviously, the word marriage is now “meaningless” because homosexuals can get married. It’s no longer that ultra-special rite of passage it once was when a mere 95% or so of the population could get married. It’s no longer the sacred ritual it once was when any drunk could get hitched by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas at 4 am. I’m sure Mr. Butterworth, if he’s married, will immediately renounce his marriage. After all, he has declared the word meaningless and why would someone spend the rest of their life in something meaningless? But he’s just getting warmed up:
I expect that in the future starting with the evangelical Christian denominations, we will be hearing new terms to describe the marriages that they perform. Perhaps something along the lines of Christian Union, or One Flesh Theogamy (who knows?).
Since I’m in a helpful mood this evening, might I suggest “bigotamy”? No, no, you can thank me later.
The Christians will simply have to do what they did 2000 years ago in distinguishing the characteristics of their marriages as opposed to those of the pagans. They will not be able to ask for State sanctions, protections, or privileges, but some of the luster of marriage as a public vow, procreative function, and communal matter might be restored.
Poor Mark. Not only has his marriage, or those of his friends and loved ones, now become meaningless, but it lacks “luster” now that gays can do it too. You see, marriage had meaning and luster last week, when Liz Taylor could collect husbands like they were new shoes, when Britney Spears could get married on a lark in the middle of a drunken stupor and then say “My Bad” and have it annulled the next day. Back in the good old days, before THOSE people could get married, there was luster. Now we need some marital turtle wax to get that sheen back.
My favorite part of that last quote is his assumption that “the Christians” all must do something in response to this, as though he speaks for all Christians. Guess what, Mark? Some Christians don’t really care about this. Some Christians still think their marriage has plenty of meaning and luster even now that people you don’t approve of get to do it. Hell, they’ll probably just go on living their life, loving their spouse and upholding their vows as if gays getting married didn’t have anything to do with them. You know why? Because it doesn’t have anything to do with them. Go figure.
Oh, but he’s just getting started. He’s got PROOF that marriage is meaningless, you see:
If any should doubt that marriage is now meaningless read about the first “couple” in Mass. to tie the knot (Via The Corner NRO):
Yarbrough, a part-time bartender who plans to wear leather pants, tuxedo shirt, and leather vest during the half-hour ceremony, has gotten hitched to Rogahn, a retired school superintendent, first in a civil commitment in Minnesota, then in Canada, and now in Massachusetts, the first U.S. state to recognize gay marriage.
But he says the concept of forever is“overrated” and that he, as a bisexual, and Rogahn, who is gay, have chosen to enjoy an open marriage. “I think it’s possible to love more than one person and have more than one partner, not in the polygamist sense,” he said.“In our case, it is, we have, an open marriage.”
Yes, his proof that marriage is now meaningless is the fact that one of the gay couples getting married is choosing to have an open marriage. But millions of straight couples have open marriages (and millions more have secretly open ones as one or both partner cheats) and marriage has somehow managed to have meaning despite this. But this one bartender, he’s the one. Millions of straight couples can have open marriages and marriage has meaning for those who are monogamous, but THIS guy has an open marriage and, well, all hell is breaking loose. Literally, I imagine. You see, President Bush was right when he called marriage “our most enduring institution”. It has endured centuries of polygamy, arranged marriages, forced marriages, and even Zsa Zsa Gabor. But gay bartenders? That’s the last straw.