Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Top 100 Movies

Timothy Sandefur says this is the hot thing to do on blogs, and being the fashionable guy I am, I’ll play along. It’s a list of the top 100 grossing films of all time, with bold for the ones you saw in the theater and italics for the ones you saw on video, along with a few comments:

1. Titanic (1997) $600,779,824 – I have only seen a few minutes of it here and there on TV, and that’s all I will ever see of it. The theme song alone is enough to bring terrorism charges against the makers of this film.
2. Star Wars (1977) $460,935,665 – I think I saw it 11 or 12 times in the theater, and I was 10 at the time. Loved every minute of it.
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) $434,949,459 – Saw it once, in the theater, and thought it was horrible. Still do.
4. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) $431,065,444 – Brutally bad movie.
5. Spider-Man (2002) $403,706,375 – Saw it on HBO and understood why I never bothered to see it at the movies or rent the video.
6. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) $377,019,252 – Never saw it, or any of the LOTR movies. I probably will watch them on video at some point
7. The Passion of the Christ (2004) $370,025,697
8. Jurassic Park (1993) $356,784,000 – saw it on video and was underwhelmed to say the least
9. Shrek 2 (2004) $356,211,000
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) $340,478,898—Slightly less borrrrringggg!
11. Finding Nemo (2003) $339,714,367—Very cute. I love the Pixar movies. The seagulls!
12. Forrest Gump (1994) $329,691,196 – saw it on video. Amusing at points, but overwrought and contrived for the most part
13. The Lion King (1994) $328,423,001—eh, okay.
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) $317,557,891 – Like LOTR, I’ve seen none of the Harry Potter movies. Unlike LOTR, I doubt I ever will.
15. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) $313,837,577—Most borrrringgg!
16. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) $310,675,588 – saw it on HBO. Better than Episode 1, but what wouldn’t be?
17. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) $309,125,409 – excellent movie
18. Independence Day (1996) $306,124,059—The War of 1812, told with aliens.
19. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) $305,411,224
20. The Sixth Sense (1999) $293,501,675—A truly great movie.
21. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) $290,158,751 – the weakest of the first three, in my opinion, but still very good
22. Home Alone (1990) $285,761,243 – saw it on HBO and wondered how on earth a movie that bad gets made
23. The Matrix Reloaded (2003) $281,492,479
24. Shrek (2001) $267,652,016
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) $261,970,615
26. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) $260,031,035
27. Jaws (1975) $260,000,000 – was too young to see when it was in the theater, but saw it as an adult. Great movie.
28. Monsters, Inc. (2001) $255,870,172
29. Batman (1989) $251,188,924 – I can’t really remember which Batman movie was which. I’ve liked all three guys who played the role and thought all three movies were mindlessly amusing
30. Men in Black (1997) $250,147,615
31. Toy Story 2 (1999) $245,823,397—Even better than the first.
32. Bruce Almighty (2003) $242,589,580
33. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) $242,374,454 – loved it, every bit of it
34. Twister (1996) $241,700,000
35. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) $241,437,427—Cute
36. Ghost Busters (1984) $238,600,000 – Bill Murray at his best
37. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) $234,760,500 – liked it at the time, find it annoying now.
38. Cast Away (2000) $233,630,478
39. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) $229,074,524—Meh.
40. Signs (2002) $227,965,690
41. Rush Hour 2 (2001) $226,138,454
42. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) $219,200,000 – amusing, but it was still Robin Williams playing Robin Williams
43. Ghost (1990) $217,631,306 – simply one of the worst movies ever made
44. Aladdin (1992) $217,350,219 – first of the great animated movies of the 90s
45. Saving Private Ryan (1998) $216,119,491
46. Mission: Impossible II (2000) $215,397,307
47. X2 (2003) $214,948,780
48. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) $213,079,163
49. Back to the Future (1985) $210,609,762—Lots of fun
50. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) $205,399,422 – better than the first, in my opinion, and very funny
51. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) $204,843,350
52. The Exorcist (1973) $204,565,000 – again, too young to see it in the theater, but it’s STILL scary after 30 years
53. The Mummy Returns (2001) $202,007,640
54. Armageddon (1998) $201,573,391 – so cliche that it must have been written by Blockbuster Movies for Windows XP
55. Gone with the Wind (1939) $198,655,278 – I almost put this in bold to see if anyone would notice. One of the classics for a reason
56. Pearl Harbor (2001) $198,539,855
57. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) $197,171,806 – loved it again
58. Toy Story (1995) $191,800,000 – 2nd great animated movie of the 90s
59. Men in Black II (2002) $190,418,803 – quite disappointing
60. Gladiator (2000) $187,670,866 – far better than I expected
61. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) $184,925,485
62. Dances with Wolves (1990) $184,208,848
63. Batman Forever (1995) $184,031,112
64. The Fugitive (1993) $183,875,760 – great movie. Tommy Lee Jones stole it from Harrison Ford, which is no small feat
65. Ocean’s Eleven (2001) $183,405,771 – does it even need to be said that I love this movie? Vegas? George Clooney being charming? Elliot Gould being even more smarmy than usual? I’m SO there.
66. What Women Want (2000) $182,805,123 – better than expected
67. The Perfect Storm (2000) $182,618,434
68. Liar Liar (1997) $181,395,380
69. Grease (1978) $181,360,000 – Horrendously bad
70. Jurassic Park III (2001) $181,166,115 – there was a Jurassic Park III?
71. Mission: Impossible (1996) $180,965,237 – movies by numbers, but not badly done
72. Planet of the Apes (2001) $180,011,740
73. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) $179,870,271
74. Pretty Woman (1990) $178,406,268 – predictable, but amusing
75. Tootsie (1982) $177,200,000 – classic
76. Top Gun (1986) $176,781,728 – this is one of those movies that you think is great when you’re a teenager and can’t believe you liked that much as an adult
77. There’s Something About Mary (1998) $176,483,808 – brutal
78. Ice Age (2002) $176,387,405
79. Crocodile Dundee (1986) $174,635,000 – amusing, and I thought Linda Kozlowski was hot
80. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) $173,585,516 – in the name of God, why?
81. Elf (2003) $173,381,405
82. Air Force One (1997) $172,888,050
83. Rain Man (1988) $172,825,435 – brilliant
84. Apollo 13 (1995) $172,071,312
85. The Matrix (1999) $171,383,253 – I have this rule about seeing Keanu Reeves movies. The rule is “don’t”. Remote control airplanes have more range.
86. Beauty and the Beast (1991) $171,301,428
87. Tarzan (1999) $171,085,177
88. A Beautiful Mind (2001) $170,708,996 – completely inaccurate, but very well done
89. Chicago (2002) $170,684,505
90. Three Men and a Baby (1987) $167,780,960
91. Meet the Parents (2000) $166,225,040
92. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)$165,500,000 – I have another rule – only see Costner in sports movies
93. Hannibal (2001) $165,091,464
94. Catch Me If You Can (2002) $164,435,221
95. Big Daddy (1999) $163,479,795
96. The Sound of Music (1965) $163,214,286
97. Batman Returns (1992) $162,831,698
98. A Bug’s Life (1998) $162,792,677
99. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) $161,963,000
100. The Waterboy (1998) $161,487,252 – see Keanu Reeves rule and apply it to Adam Sandler

Comments

  1. #1 DonM
    June 23, 2004

    Ed,

    I cannot believe that you watched “Sound of Music” on video and have no comment… hehehehe

    Don

  2. #2 Ed Brayton
    June 23, 2004

    I cannot believe that you watched “Sound of Music” on video and have no comment… hehehehe

    LOL. In the “watched it on video” category, I also included movies I’d seen on TV when I was a kid, and the Sound of Music falls into that group. I vaguely recall watching it on TV with the family as a child, and I vaguely recall being bored to tears by it. I could have made a snarky comment about it, but my animosity toward all things broadway musical is well known already. Of course, that didn’t stop me from the shot at Celine Dion, did it?

  3. #3 carpundit
    June 23, 2004

    I laughed aloud at -and wholly support- your Keanu Reeves rule.

    I generally agree with your Adam Sandler corollary, but would like to propose another more pressing one: Jim Carrey.

  4. #4 PZ Myers
    June 23, 2004

    I felt compelled to put my list online, too. It looks like I’ve watched many more movies than you have, and we’ll have to disagree on LotR.

  5. #5 PZ Myers
    June 23, 2004

    Oh, and I’ve seen all of 5 minutes of Sound of Music and Gone with the Wind and found them intolerable. I don’t know what it was, but both left me so inutterably bored and so itchy with impatience that I had to leave.

  6. #6 Lynn
    June 23, 2004

    PZ Meyers
    I have to agree with you on the movie “Gone With The Wind”
    Phony southern drawls really get under my skin.
    I found Clark Gable almost laughable, I have no idea what the ladies thought was so great about him. And having lived in the South myself I can assure everyone that Vivian Leigh was over acting and probably had never visited below the state of Indiana. LOL And any man who says to me “frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” is out of my life in a New York second. LOL

    I loved the movie Ghost, but hey, I’m a woman LOL The music “unchained melody” alone was terrific.

    I also liked Shrek 1 and Shrek 2
    Children liked them but adults really appreciate them even more. (shhhhhhh don’t tell Ed, but I have a big crush on Shrek)

  7. #7 OGeorge
    June 23, 2004

    If listing movies on blogs is considered “hot”, fashionable or “cool”, hot, fashionable and cool are WAY overrated.

  8. #8 DonM
    June 24, 2004

    Lynn,

    Try to judge “Gone With The Wind” in the context of when it was made and compare it to other movies of it’s time.

    Don

  9. #9 TomR
    June 25, 2004

    6. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) $377,019,252 – Never saw it, or any of the LOTR movies. I probably will watch them on video at some point

    10. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) $340,478,898—Slightly less borrrrringggg!

    So, since you have not seen the Two Towers, are you highly intuitive, or how is it you have an opinion about it?

    What do you think about my haircut? I love your shoes.

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