Yes, folks, today is the Earth's 6000th birthday, according to the famous Bishop Ussher. In 1650, he famously calculated the age of the Earth using the biblical timeline based upon the ages at which various people were begat and came up with October 22nd, 4004 BC. At around 6 pm. Technically, the 6000th birthday was actually in 1997, owing to odd lineups in various calenders, but such pedantry would just ruin a good party.
She looks pretty good for 6000, don't you think? A little bigger around the equator, perhaps. The smog has made her a little more gray around the temples, and global warming a little thinner on top. But all in all, not a bad planet to call home. So raise a glass and sing "For she's a jolly good planet", something nobody can deny, and bust out the cake. What do you get for the planet that has everything?
- Log in to post comments
And God so loved this tiny little piece of space lint surrounded by an incomprehensibly and enormously vacuous universe, unfriendly to life, that he sent his (only begotten) son to save us because we ate fruit. Blow out the candles Ed!
KipEsquire, that is give or take a few years. LOL
Gee, is correct arithmatic pedantry now?
What the heck. I'll drink to that! Maybe I'll try to find a bottle of Bishop's Finger on the way home and raise it to Bishop Ussher.
...tiny little piece of space lint surrounded by an incomprehensibly and enormously vacuous universe...
No, sorry.
Now let's have no more of this "equator" nonsense.
But is it pillars all the way down? I can't tell from that map.
Tsk! All this gossip about a lady's age...isn't anyone a gentleman anymore?
Jillian,
I stopped viewing this planet as "mother earth" after the hurricanes this summer.
No female would have done so much damage.
Men are naming these hurricanes.
No self respecting woman would give them female names. LOL
So relax Jillian this earth is definately male.
LOL. Someone on another page suggested that a lady always lies about her age, so the Earth is probably really 6500 years old.
6000 or 6500 she looks great...I'd do her ;)
DS, you're a scary, scary man. LOL
Say, that Venus is lookin' pretty good these days? So how old is she? She must be at LEAST 20 pounds lighter then earth, and WAY hotter. Can you introduce me?
KipEsquire at October 22, 2004 02:51 PM
>Technically, the 6000th birthday was actually in 1997, owing to odd lineups in various calenders, but such pedantry would just ruin a good party.
Possibly, but don't forget to take into account the time dilation due to the expansion of the universe over the last 6000 years or so. As predicted by General Relativity, of course.
Hurricanes with female names tend to come out of nowhere and release a torrent of destruction when you least expect it.
Hurricanes with male names are usually milder, but never seem to be aware of how much pain they cause.
(stolen from the Onion)