Ed Brayton is a freelance writer and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
My new bestest friend Robert O'Brien sent me this charming email:
Mr. Brayton,
After reading your opining here and on PT, the most charitable description of you I can come up with is "a pompous ass, intoxicated with the sound of his braying." You frequently make my pretentious idiot list.
Sincerely,
Robert O'Brien
The "sincerely" was a nice touch, don't you think? And all this because I dared to call a guy who wants to ban all books with gay characters from libraries in his state an idiot. Well, I'm certainly open to a better word to describe the good Rep. Allen. In fact, I'd prefer a better word than that, since I tend to overuse it (accurately, but too often). In fact, in a world so filled with idiots, I really do need to come up with a few new words to indicate this status. I've used all the obvious nouns (idiot, moron, cretin, halfwit, etc) and adjectives (mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, braindead, etc) in previous stories. Perhaps from now on I'll just call them O'Briens.
Update: Oh goodie, he's back for a second round:
Mr. Brayton,
Thank you for amply demonstrating the veracity of my characterization (once again). By the way, the "ufl" in my e-mail address is for "University of Florida." That should be your first clue that I'm not from Alabama.
Sincerely,
Robert O'Brien
Perhaps your reading comprehension skills need a little brushing up on. I know Florida is quite the party school, but don't let the Jack Daniels kill off the brain cells you use for determining antecedents. The noun in the sentence that included the phrase "his state" was Rep. Allen, not your name; hence, I was referring to his state, not yours. But hey, thanks for writing and keep in touch. I'll think of you every month because I think I'm going to rename the Idiot of the Month award the Robert O'Brien Trophy. Maybe I can even have their names engraved on it and let them each take it home until the next month's winner, like the Stanley Cup.
Sincerely,
The Pompous Ass
P.S. I'm gonna rate you at about 450 milli-Hovinds for your performance here today. It coulda been better, but you took a step on the dismount.
Comments
I can hardly wait for his next e mail. This saga should be titled " As The Stomach Turns"
LOL
Posted by: Lynn | December 4, 2004 10:41 PM
You really think he rates almost a full 0.5 Hovinds?
Posted by: ~DS~ | December 5, 2004 10:38 AM
A mere ROTFL to the guy from Florida suffices for me.
Posted by: raj | December 5, 2004 11:03 AM
Ed,
Why waste your award title on a single name? The award goes to a whole sub-class of people, so the title "Neanderthal of the Month" comes to mind.
I mean no disrespect for these industrious people, but their lack of ability to face reality and adapt to changing conditions led to their demise. Perhaps because they were larger, louder and more brutish than the other hominids of their time, they developed a feeling of superiority and believed they could bully their way around without regard to those who they considered inferior. Sadly, their dim wits, boorish behavior and lack of any socially redeeming value finally did them in.
This seems like a fit name for your monthly award. B
Posted by: Bill Ware | December 5, 2004 12:31 PM
Neanderthals were incapable of hurling missiles, but they weren't stupid. Why insult Neanderthals that way?
Posted by: Ed Darrell | December 5, 2004 5:15 PM
My B.S. in zoology is from UF. Not everyone there partied all the time.
I don't think social graces are part of the entrance requirements at most schools, so please don't blame UF for the occasional psychoceramic who decides to attend there.
Posted by: Wesley R. Elsberry | December 5, 2004 7:20 PM
Ed, I'm afraid my post above was too subtle for some.
PS: Wesley, I don't find psychoceramic in my Webster Online Dictionary. Is that someone who is crazy about dishware??? B
Posted by: Bill Ware | December 5, 2004 7:46 PM
My B.S. in zoology is from UF. Not everyone there partied all the time.
Hey, I went to MSU which for several years led the nation in alcohol-related arrests. A couple years ago they fell to #2, but they had a good recruiting class last year and we'll be back on top of the rankings in no time.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | December 5, 2004 7:54 PM
Bill, "psychoceramic" is a nice way of saying "crackpot". Or a fancy way, at least.
Posted by: Lars | December 5, 2004 7:54 PM
So. Does Mr O'Brien think banning books with gay characters is a good idea? Or not?
He really ought to commit to one answer or another, instead of just complaining about people who bring up the awkward question.
Posted by: PZ Myers | December 5, 2004 8:27 PM
So. Does Mr O'Brien think banning books with gay characters is a good idea? Or not?
He never said. But apparently if you call someone who thinks so an idiot, that makes you "pretentious" and a "pompous ass", so one could safely assume that, at the very least, he believes that someone other than an idiot would propose such a law. He himself is a grad student in statistics at Florida. By my count, there are 55 total grad students in statistics at Florida. If my math is correct, approximately 1.8% of them, at a minimum, are annoying assholes.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | December 5, 2004 8:32 PM
There are liars, damned liars, and Robert O'Brien.
Posted by: Fu Manchu | December 5, 2004 9:31 PM
So. Does Mr O'Brien think
PZ, maybe you should have ended the question there.
Posted by: raj | December 5, 2004 9:36 PM
Lars, thanks, you made my day!
Posted by: Bill Ware | December 5, 2004 9:55 PM
Your dull grim troll has got himself a lair on blogspot now. It isn't pretty.
Posted by: PZ Myers | December 6, 2004 10:21 AM
LMAO. Oh, this should be fun.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | December 6, 2004 10:32 AM
Congratulations, Ed! You're on his blogroll! If you've managed to piss off a narrow-minded simpleton like that, you must be doing something right.
Anyone read his post on federalism? It has all the coherence that something I might write about brain surgery would be expected to have. I'm still laughing. Dude needs to stick with statistics. Perhaps he can get a fellowship with Dembski; if his mathematical skills are on a par with his critical thinking skills, he'll raise the level of Dembski's work. Paging Dr. Dembski...
Posted by: Dan | December 6, 2004 10:50 AM
He seems to have taken a particular interest in both Ed and PZ. This should be interesting and amusing if both Ed and PZ decide to make him a project as well. You made him the name of your award, I hope you are interested Ed!
Posted by: Joshua White | December 6, 2004 2:55 PM
Ed can have him.
Posted by: PZ Myers | December 6, 2004 5:50 PM
Yeah, but guys who teach at Eastern Michigan State ought to be a little less strident, if ya know what I mean. LOL.
One vote for O'Brien, here!
Posted by: Bob Flynn | December 6, 2004 7:19 PM
Oh, jeez, Ed. Now Flynn has showed up here. You may need to rename the O'Brien Trophy the O'Brien-Flynn Trophy. He takes incomprehensibility to an entirely new level.
PZ, he was yours before. Will you take him back? I'd be willing to negotiate a troll exchange.
Posted by: Dan | December 6, 2004 7:51 PM