Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Celebrity Schadenfreude

I have a confession to make: I enjoy watching washed up celebrities – especially ones that never exhibited much talent to justify their celebrity – fall on their faces and humiliate themselves. In the vast, insufferable universe that is reality TV, the only show I watch is the Surreal Life, which puts various desperate has beens into a house to watch them make fools of themselves and attempt to get a 16th or 17th minute of fame. It’s a perfect example of schadenfreude – taking pleasure from another’s suffering. I think it’s funny watching MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice clinging to their last bit of dignity, or watching Chyna and Brigitte Nielsen prove that they never had any to begin with. Yeah, it’s cruel, but so is almost all good comedy.

So you can imagine the chuckle I got from this article about one of the guys from Color Me Badd being sued for back support by his ex-wife, who appeared in court with his other ex-wife:

Shon Gables, a news anchor for WCBS in New York City, filed the lawsuit and appeared in Oklahoma County District Court earlier this week with the singer’s other ex-wife, Ashly Abrams.

The 35-year-old Abrams was one of the founding members of the Oklahoma-based quartet, whose debut album, “C.B.M.,” sold more than 8 million copies. Their hits included “I Wanna Sex You Up” and “I Adore Mi Amor.”

Gables estimates she has spent $10,000 trying to recover support owed by Abrams, who now works in an Oklahoma City tire store.

Ashly Abrams, a hairdresser, said she helped pay Bryan Abrams’ legal fees against Gables until their own three-year marriage ended in 2003. The singer has played no role in the life of their 3-year-old daughter, Ashly Abrams alleges.

Jerry Springer, call your office. We’ve got a live one. On how many levels could this be funny simultaneously? For those of you who don’t remember the group Color Me Badd, count yourself fortunate. This band was so lame they made Milli Vanilli sound like the Temptations. The fact that the Soul Train awards actually gave them an award for best R&B single in 1992 is a stain on black culture that is worse than Al Sharpton and Marion Barry combined. Their Wikipedia entry says, “After C.M.B. went platinum and sold over 6 million copies, Color Me Badd had clearly emerged as one of the leading post-New Kids On The Block U.S. boy bands.” That’s roughly the equivalent of being considered the smartest kid in summer school, or the most honest Senator. Here’s my favorite part of the article:

Abrams’ fiance, Kim Frazier, said he is working on a new recording to follow his 2001 solo album, “Welcome to Me.”

If it’s not funny enough that he’s now working at an Oklahoma City tire store – I bet he doesn’t wear those cute pastel Don Johnson wannabe shirts from their videos on the job – you have to love the fact that he’s working on a follow up to a solo album that went polyester. Because ya gotta give the public what they want.