Okay, I finally got to watch the NCBCPS press conference on their bible curriculum and it’s even funnier than I imagined. You can download or stream the video by clicking here, but the video is very long, about 125 meg. I actually downloaded it. If you have broadband and a half hour to kill, I strongly urge you to watch it, especially the Chuck Norris part of it, which begins about 14 minutes in. It’s delightfully absurd.
Although he’s supposed to be talking about the Bible curriculum, he begins with several minutes of rambling about some program he has for teaching martial arts in school. Then he talks about his nephew, who took a biology class and refused to write a required paper about evolution because he didn’t believe in evolution, and was flunked. Then he finally gets around to the Bible class, which he says is necessary so that kids have a choice of what they want to believe about how the earth was created.
Chuck Norris: So that’s why we’re here. Because we want the Bible curriculum to be a choice in the school where the kids can make their own decisions, not us saying…
Gina Norris:…what you can and can’t do…
Chuck Norris: …what you cannot and cannot…what you can and cannot do, that it is evolution and that’s it. Let them make up their own mind, and that’s why we’re here to support this program.
Is the NCBCPS really so stupid as to allow Norris to get up there and essentially admit that the goal of this Bible curriculum is to get creationism into public schools? The attorneys for the group didn’t dispute what Norris said. But the best part of the Norris interview is his equally bubbleheaded wife standing by his side saying “um hm” and “yes” and “that’s so true” after virtually every sentence he says. And at one point, feeding him a word he can’t quite get. It’s really funny stuff.
Oh, wait, wait, I stopped too soon. Toward the end of the press conference, a reporter from some Christian radio station asked Chuck and Gina Norris if they used any of the Biblical teachings in their martial arts schools. Here’s part of the response:
Chuck Norris: No, we do not teach Biblical principles in school. We do teach a philosophy, uh, positive affirmations every day. We teach these kids that they can be anything they wanna be, we keep encouraging them that they can be anything that their hearts desire.
Gina Norris: Which builds strong moral character.
Chuck Norris: Yeah, which builds strong moral character. But if you look at the Bible, and read the Bible, that’s what the Bible does too. You know, it teaches you to be a strong individual person with a positive attitude about life. Uh, but of course we don’t teach the Biblical aspects of that. But the, uh, Oriental, the uh, martial arts philosophy that I, you know that I’ve uh taught in my schools for many many years, and uh, and just to uh, encourage them to succeed in their lives. And uh, and through that, uh, philosophy, and them building up that self-image of themselves through the kicks and punches they do, that’s really a tool. Teaching them how to punch and kick and all that, it’s just a tool to raise their self-esteem.
You can’t make this stuff up.