Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Top Movies Quotes of All Time

Last night I saw a show that presented the top 100 movie quotes of all time, as voted on by members of the American Film Institute. Some of them were quite memorable, of course, but I thought it was a bit too skewed toward older films. In some cases, that’s deserved of course. The fact that 6 of the top 100 were from Casablanca can hardly be argued with, as there were so many memorable lines in them. But I thought it would be fun to think of some of the most memorable from my lifetime that weren’t on the list. So here are the ones that come to mind.

They didn’t have any quotes from a few movies that have a ton of great ones in them. Like The Princess Bride, which has so many memorable lines:

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

“Don’t pester him. He’s been mostly dead all day.”

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. T’would be a shame to damage yours.”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“Give me the gatekey.”
“I have no gatekey.”
“Fezick, rip his arms off.”
“Oh, you mean this gate key.”

There was one line in the top 100 from Caddyshack, the “It’s a cindarella story, from out of nowhere” line. But there were so many more they could have used.

“Be the ball, Danny. Be the ball. Danny, you’re not being the ball.”

“You do drugs Danny?”
“Every day.”
“Good boy”

“You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he’s been club champion for three years running and I’m no slouch myself.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Judge. You’re a tremendous slouch.”

“Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity. You’re a lot of woman, you know that? How’d you like to make 14 dollars the hard way?”

“So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”

And then there are all of these great lines. I won’t give the movie name and we’ll see who can guess them.

“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler”

“What would you do if you had a million dollars?”
“I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.”
“That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?”
“Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.”
” Well, not all chicks.”
“Well the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.”
“Good point.”

“So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”
“What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?”
“Wow, that’s messed up.”

“I don’t really like to talk about my flair.”

“I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said…I drank what?”