Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I’m off to my parents’ house for the day. I hope everyone has a great day with their families. In Michigan, we have a tradition. We eat far too much, then fight over who gets the couch, then we all watch the Lions play, which makes us want to regurgitate the meal we just ate. Call it athletic bulimia.

Update: Well, scratch that idea. My parents just called to tell me not to come. Apparently the weather is worse down there than it is up here. We got about 6 inches of snow yesterday, with more on the way today. That alone is not a big deal, but we’re also getting gusts of wind at 40 mph, creating a lot of drifting and blowing and whiteouts. And they said it’s worse down there, where they’ve got almost a foot of snow already. So sadly, our family thanksgiving is cancelled. I pulled a turkey out of my freezer and I’m trying to speed defrost it, hoping to at least be able to do a dinner this evening for myself and my brother and his girls, or perhaps tomorrow. So what was going to be a nice day spent with family has turned into a boring day spent at home. Down with nature! Down with nature!

“I hate nature. Screw nature. Do you think nature cares that a grizzly bear…mauled my grandmother to death…and almost ruined our family vacation?”

David Feldman

Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone anyway. Enjoy the time with your families.


  1. #1 raj
    November 24, 2005

    Good luck.

    I don’t know how big your turkey is, but you might consider wrapping it in a plastic bag and defrosting it in teppid to warm water (not hot water). That can speed defrosting. Since (I assume) you are going to cook it immediately thereafter, the likelihood of salmonella developing is minimal.

    I’m going to be cooking a rolled turkey breast a bit later today.

    Happy Turkey Day.

  2. #2 Gretchen
    November 24, 2005

    Happy Thanksgiving, Ed, from another person displaced from family. Thanksgiving pretty much slipped my mind until today, actually. Guess I’ll have a kylling (chicken) sandwich and pretend it’s kalkun (turkey). And keep plugging away on this damned essay on cognition and extended mind theory…

  3. #3 flatlander100
    November 24, 2005

    Well, you could still participate by turning on the tube and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade [which I first saw as a wee lad one cold Thanksgiving Day perched on my father’s shoulders along the route more decades ago than I intend to report], except that of late the co-anchors of both networks televising it have taken to ignoring much of the parade to shill for their network’s regular shows — interviewing “stars,” or cutting away from the parade to show tapes of “stars” doing good deeds elsewhere and when.

    The parade is… or should be… about huge balloons, clowns, marching bands, kids, and Santa Claus arriving on the last float, like god intended.

    When I become Commandant for North America under the New World Order, any parade anchor who cuts away from the march to shill for a network show will be sumarily shot. On camera. That should help in the ratings.

    Sorry you’re stranded chez vous, Ed, but lots better than spending the day at an interstate restarea trapped by snow.

  4. #4 cowdog
    November 24, 2005

    For speed thawing, I endorse the water bath idea, though I would use cold water instead. The tepid idea probably won’t get you sick but I am a strong beliver in keeping food out of the danger zone [40 degrees F – 140 degrees F].

    I am told — though I’ve not tried it — that barely running cold water will thaw your bird the fastest. Park your still-wrapped tukeycicle in a 5 gallon bucket (clean, natch) under the bathtub faucet and either let it run a little, or just let it be and change out the water every 3-4 hours.

    It might be done for tonight.

    There’s always takeout, or roast chicken, or what have you. Hanging out with friends and family and eating is the key, not what you eat.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. #5 Lynn
    November 25, 2005

    Ed, we both have so much to be grateful for. You and I both have our THANKS-giving everyday.

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